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Nov. 24th, 2009

niki de saint phalle - real

Grace -

I renew on this quote periodically, believing it is essential we each know honor and bring forth what is ours to choose.


There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep yourself open and aware to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open.


- Martha Graham


book lovers

Hitch your vehicle of choice to a star -

In the New York Review of Books, John Banville reviews Robert D. Richardson's book, First We Read, Then We Write: Emerson on the Creative Process.

Emerson in his essay "The American Scholar" wrote:

"Meek young men grow up in libraries believing it is their duty to accept the views which Cicero, which Locke, which Bacon have given, forgetful that Cicero, Locke, and Bacon were only young men in libraries when they wrote their books."

Richardson points out that Emerson was a lecturer. "His writing was first speaking." In that, his writing is practical and applicable.

Banville:

Richardson isolates a telling and wonderful example of Emerson's groundedness and commitment to the practical. We all know, though we might not really know the source, Emerson's piece of seeming cracker-barrel advice to "hitch your wagon to a star," which might be the title of a song from a Broadway cowboy musical, but which in fact has its source in the philosopher's interest in mills powered by the tides:

In Boston a dam was built between two points of land jutting out into Massachusetts Bay, and a tide mill was then situated in the middle of the dam to take advantage of the seven-to-nine foot tides in the area ... Emerson admired the skill behind the arrangement "which thus engages the assistance of the moon, like a hired hand, to grind and wind, and pump, and saw, and split stone, and roll iron."

Therefore the advice to hitch your wagon to a star - with, as Richardson observes, the emphasis on your - is no flight of soft-focus fancy but a thoroughly practical recommendation. "This unlikely combination of the high-flying and the down-to-earth," Richardson writes, "is pure Emerson."


So, notice the tides and use them and hitch your wagon, or vehicle of choice, to a star.

Alan - yellow hibiscus

Gratitude Week -

In an ideal world, not a day should go by without each moment held like a cup of grace, and ...

This last week I've been dealing with another edit of the book on my experience with cancer. It is written with my good friend Jane. We speak every weekday morning and try to write. Mainly now, we deal with the book.

Yesterday, was the fourth anniversary of the day I began chemotherapy. I can feel a bit of the nausea even now, four years later. The memories are back or maybe I am bringing them back so I can let them go. I am amazed at how we humans carry on and carry through and then perhaps we take a pause to look at what has gone on.

This last go-through on the book I read it differently, read it as though I was reading about someone, about two people, a person going through cancer treatment and one in support. What was it like for each of them?

I could "give myself" that it was rough at times, could see the experience differently. I feel myself in a great deal of change, transition perhaps and yet perhaps that is not quite so. Perhaps it is a new way of honoring my way of being, and being it is. I love to be with being, whatever that means to me. It bothers me sometimes that we ask, that I ask myself, "What are you doing?" "What am I doing?" I want to be kinder to myself, gentler and say, "How are you being right now?" Are your eyes filled with grace? Is that what you transmit?

Yesterday I had a Rosen session with my dear friend Karen. I can feel there are spaces within myself as yet unexplored. I can't tell if they are empty or full, but I see that there is more to know and allow. I am in a curious place. I notice that the word curiosity is my word of choice lately. My sense is that curiosity is what lets us know we are alive. Who are you? Who am I? Can we each learn a little more about ourselves through this probe of the other? Can you let me know you, your thoughts, your hopes, your dreams? Better yet, can you let you know? Can you let yourself know you just a little better, do a little probe?

So, now, I am going to take an odd shift. We use cloth napkins with our meals. I read somewhere of how many trees I would save in a year by doing so and it requires no extra water as they are just tossed into the washer with everything else, but I am noticing, that just like with socks, I don't always get the same number back as I put in. Where do they go?



Nov. 23rd, 2009

goldsworthy - pebble circle

Question -



You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers. You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions.

- Naguib Mahfouz

Nov. 22nd, 2009

book lovers

Where books come to life -

Nov. 21st, 2009

Alexander Calder's Kitchen!

Peace -

I am enchanted with this weekend, this settling into Thanks and Giving.

Marc posted on Facebook about a man who asked for money saying his mother had been killed and he needed to get to NJ to identify the body, and so, of course, Marc gave, and then, what do you know,
it is a new week and the same story.

The same day, Jon Carroll posted his yearly column on the Untied Way.

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/11/20/DDI11AMM0A.DTL

We give for how it makes us feel, and perhaps there is something about honoring the creativity of the story, perhaps we, also, pay for that, even if the story is one told many times a day, but it is also told in that moment, just for us. Perhaps the honoring, the gift is in the reception of the story, the listening.

A friend of mine was in Montenegro recently, teaching. She spoke of how connected she felt with her translator, because he listened and interpreted. I wonder if we listen as carefully to our friends as we would if we were then to turn around and interpret their words to another.

What I'm seeing in the responses to Marc's post is generosity. People are giving.

I just finished reading the book, Daughter of Fire, by Irina Tweedie. I have seen quotes by her over the years, but didn't know her journey to wisdom. This book is "A Diary of a Spiritual Training with a Sufi Master".

If you are interested, here is a fascinating article by her that compares Jung's work on individuation to a spiritual process, an opening, or leading to the Infinite.

http://www.goldensufi.org/a_sufi_training.html

I love the following quote by Kabir. Each of us may have our own interpretation of "Thee," but I think honoring each movement and breath, feeling the movement within and without, and honoring the pause and thresholds is quite a lovely way to be.



Kabir:

“Every position, every movement of the body is an act of offering to Thee.”




Nov. 20th, 2009

north pole moon

Water on the moon -

I missed the news that there is water on the moon, and even as I read this op-ed comment, kept looking to see if it was a spoof. One has to be very careful these days to check the source, but it appears there is water on the moon which could offer us vision, something that has been lacking for many years in this country. I know there are those who think we should focus on problems here before we scatter ourselves around the universe, but I believe we need something drawing us forth. There are visions within and visions without, and I like knowing that both are in active play.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/20/opinion/20marshall.html?th&emc=th

Nov. 19th, 2009

alan - morning glory center

Gratitude -

I love this time of year because I see people around me getting pumped up on this subject of gratitude and thanks. We really notice what we have and are grateful for it. It is like living in a huge, round hug.

I have thought about commenting on the latest discussion on mammograms, but haven't really been clear what to say. Therefore, I appreciate Gail Collins today.


http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/19/opinion/19collins.html?th&emc=th


Where I live it is almost a rite of passage to have been through treatment for breast cancer. There was a talk last night near me about how breast cancer may be influenced by environmental pollution. "Duh," I thought. Look at how we are exposed. What do we expect? And look at the stress, and on and on. I felt pretty clear about what caused my cancer. I was not dealing well with my response to Bush. I have a little warning system now. My scar goes into a Harry Potter type of distress when my thinking is off track.

It is why you often see a back and forth on this blog. Can you believe this? Oh, my this is a beautiful place, and it is, and it is, and it is.

This time of year my chemo nausea comes back. My body remembers, and I am so very grateful to be here. Thank you all for being here with me, and sharing a world that is beautiful and complex, and simple, too. Love, commitment and gratitude truly make the world go round.


Nov. 18th, 2009

alan's marigolds

Smiling -



I was on the commuter ferry going to the city yesterday morning.  People, very serious, dressed in black, start lining up as soon as the gate opens as one ferry leaves and the wait for the next one begins.  It was about twenty minutes to wait yesterday so people line up, facing out, and there is not yet a boat.  It isn't even yet in sight.  I am thinking that many of these people must do this daily, but everyone looks straight ahead, anxious to get on the boat, to get "their" seat.  I find it curious that there is no interaction, exchange, acknowledgment, of the "other".   All seem so self-contained and perhaps that is essential in the preparation for work. 

I came back on the 3:00 ferry, so it is a different crowd, and there are even some smiles.  One woman sat near me smiling the whole time and I wish now I had gone up and spoken to her, because I was so entranced with her smile, and I carry it with me now.  I think of the youtube video going around of the "Laughing Buddha," the man who gets on a subway train and laughs and laughs and soon has everyone around him hysterically laughing and brought to tears.

I wonder sometimes about my "place" in life, about what is mine to "do," but when I think of the woman from yesterday, I see that it is to curve my lips upward in a cup, or, since it is almost Thanksgiving, in a cornucopia of gratitude, love and care.

Mirror neurons Ho!!



Nov. 17th, 2009

Alan - sunrise - Palm Springs area

Puttting the "me" into the media -



This morning I took an early ferry over to the city to meet a friend.  We sat and sipped coffee and talked for hours and then, noticed people were gathering at Book Passage, so decided to check it out.  Amy Goodman, host of Democracy Now! was speaking about her new book, Breaking the Sound Barrier.  We found seats in the book store that is said to be the book store with the best view in the world.  You look out on the bay as the author speaks.

Though Amy Goodman's mother died in October, she decided to do the book tour anyway. She spoke with emotion and seemed near tears at times.  Certainly she had her audience in or near tears.  Her mother was quite a force in the world and didn't complain so the end was near when she was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer.  Amy Goodman and her brothers stayed in the hospital with her for the last month of her life.  She said they wanted to put up a sign at the door, Do No Harm.

She said the experience with her mother was a good lesson in what is wrong with our health care system.  There are too many doctors and no coordination of those doctors.  Her mother was to only have clear liquids.  The doctor in charge of swallowing came in and said her mother had to be given crackers and yogurt to test if she could swallow.  They pointed out she was swallowing the clear liquids.  No, it had to be yogurt, and so they allowed it, and then, her mother got really sick and the main doctor was furious.

Amy said we need to learn to meet death.  She said there are five things that need to be said and addressed near the end of a person's life.  I think I have the five right.  Both the one dying and those who love the one, say: 1. Thank you.  2.  Forgive me.  3.  I forgive you.  4.  I love you.  5.  Good-bye.  


She spoke of her arrest at the Republican convention and how the media is not mainstream. It is hijacked and without accurate and honest reporting of all sides we do not have a democracy.  Despite it all, the talk was inspirational.  She offers hope.   It was synchronous that I got to see her and I did buy her book and will report what she has to say.  I recommend though that we all buy the book and support the work of Amy Goodman and Democracy Now!

 


alan - morning glory center

Good Morning!!




As a well spent day brings happy sleep, so life well used brings happy death.

- Leonardo da Vinci



Nov. 16th, 2009

alan's marigolds

Pirate Radio -



We went to see the movie Pirate Radio tonight.  It is a fun one, and certainly a movie for the 60's generation.    It's quite a soundtrack. 

I had no idea of the history of it, that thirty minutes to one hour of rock and roll was allowed to be broadcast a day in England so ships anchored offshore and blasted the air waves. 

Here's a review by Roger Ebert.  http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20091111/REVIEWS/911119998


eagle flying

Cell Phones -



I was given this today and learn now that Snopes says it is false, so ignore please.

Cell Phone Numbers go public this month.  All cell phone numbers will be released to telemarketing companies. 

To prevent this, call 888-382-1222.  It blocks your number for five years.   Call from the cell phone number you want blocked. 

Pass it on!



alan - lilies in the shade

Who needs facts?



I told myself I would not read one thing on Palin's book and yet, here I am. I certainly won't read "her" book.  

It seems though that honesty places it in the fiction category.

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2009/11/13/national/w141351S39.DTL




Nov. 15th, 2009

Alan - sunrise - Palm Springs area

Peace -



I hate war as only a soldier who has lived it can, only as one who has seen its brutality, its futility, its stupidity.

Dwight D. Eisenhower


alan's beach photo

Blessed -



My birthday celebrating has continued.  My family rented a house overlooking the ocean at Sea Ranch.  I love Sea Ranch and we went there often when our children were young.  The weather was perfect and we all were entertained with shooting stars and waves and excellent company and food.  I did nothing.   It took me awhile to settle into that I was to do nothing, but I managed to do it, and even became quite good at it.

I don't know what to say, other than sometimes life overwhelms with gifts.  I am in that place. 


Nov. 12th, 2009

ashes and snow - wings

The path to peace -




The Real Work

 

It may be that when we no longer know what to do
we have come to our real work,

 

and that when we no longer know which way to go
we have come to our real journey.

 

The mind that is not baffled is not employed.

 

The impeded stream is the one that sings.

 

 

~ Wendell Berry ~

 

(Collected Poems)

 

 


Mitchell's silver lining

Charter for Compassion -



Who could be against a Charter for Compassion?  

If you are intrigued, go here, read, sign, and emblazon 'with passion," new ways to be involved.  

http://www.ted.com/



alan - morning glory center

Morning -


 
The decks are wet, softened.  Perhaps, I, too, am finally beginning to relax, to soften.

Joan reminded me how the psoas muscle tightens with stress, which having one's car take a direct hit, certainly is.  I've been paying attention there, trying to stretch both up and down, like a tree.  I have a whole book devoted to the psoas which I will peruse today, as I know how deeply within those muscles go and how important it is they are soft and ready for the next reason to act. 

Yesterday I was trying to make a decision about something, and this morning this quote arrived in my email box.   It is my guidance on acceptance for the day.

To be in harmony with the oneness of things is to be without anxiety about imperfection.

- Zen Master Dogen  



From The Psoas Book by Liz Koch:

When one tugs at a single thing in nature, he finds it attached to the rest of the world.

      -  John Muir


Liz Koch:  "The psoas represents the deepest, instinctual qualities of energy in the human being.  It is from the area of the psoas that wise women and wise men ground themselves. With an integrated, well-functioning psoas comes a quiet, safe haven to move from and be within.  The image that appears for me is a tribal image; a wise bushman, who's instinctual self has transcended survival skills to the "Fine Art of Being" on Mother Earth.  From this deeply grounded, stable place we allow the heart and mind to soar. Only when the psoas is free to move, can the energy of the body flow smoothly, the emotions balance, and our thoughts be integrated."


Now, that may sound a bit "airy-fairy" to you, but if your back hurts, or you are feeling anxious or discombobulated, check your psoas.  The answer may be clenched right there.


Nov. 11th, 2009

alan - joshua tree bloom

Veterans Day!



It is Veterans Day.  May we each take time to pause and think of what that means to us.  



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