We slept outside. Oh, my! I saw seven meteors, and this morning, the moonlight and then, the changing of the sky. There is nothing to equal it. We used to sleep outside most of the time and then, we pulled the bed in and it seems easier inside, but there is nothing to equal, the moon, stars, and changing of the light.
I was reminded of these words from Learning to Breathe by Alison Wright.
She has written her final words to her brother and believes she is going now to die. She feels held. That is what I felt as I lay outside, looking up at the sky, held.
As I closed my eyes and surrendered, an amazing thing happened: I let go of all my fear. My body took on a lightness as it was released from its profound suffering. I felt my heart expand, free of attachment and longing. A perfect calm came over me, a bone-deep peace I could never have previously imagined. There was nothing left to do, nowhere left to go. There was also the realization that there was no need to be afraid; everything felt as though it was exactly as it was meant to be.
In that moment, I felt my spiritual beliefs transform into undeniable truths. As I lay there, I felt how interwoven every human spirit is with every other in the seamless mesh of the universe. It occurred to me that the opposite of death is not life but love. I felt myself rise and emerge from the shell of pain laying below and, as I did so, realized that leaving the body only ends life, not our interconnectedness with those whom we care about.