I see blue sky. The fog, in this moment, is blown through, though I thought that at six, and then it came back and now all the leaves, branches, and needles are reaching exuberantly toward light.
I come across this quote by William Least Heat-Moon:
"When you're traveling, you are what you are, right there and then. People don't have your past to hold against you. No yesterdays on the road."
I think it is important to live in the present and not hold on to the past, and yet, I also think we need to integrate our lives, to honor all that has happened so we can fully reap all that can be learned from what we've done and experienced. Why did that happen? Would I respond that way again? Can I change my response and perhaps not be so automatic or habitual?
I feel like I keep molding this ball of clay I am to better understand who I am and can be. I open the clay up, spread it out, and squish it back together again, trying to layer it with experience, like butter in filo dough. I've been in soup making mode, simmering vegetables and squeezing them for a fully nutritious broth. I had dental work this week, which may have stimulated the need for vitamin-filled soups. My dentist will have her fifteen and a half year old dog put to sleep this week. She spoke of the hole in her heart his death will leave, and yes, it is a hole, isn't it, this painful route of loss? It is a hole we can choose to fill with even more love.
I feel the loss of Ted Kennedy.
I hope his death allows others to emulate his service in life, his reach and intention to make a better life for every man, woman, and child. He moved beyond his yesterdays, and yet his past meant he stayed in the senate, rather than running for president. There, he affected this country in a positive way.
Maybe it is to honor where the yesterdays place us, while reaching each day to consider what we can do to know ourselves a little better, a little more gently and to know how to place that in the serving plate we share.
May today bring us closer to peace.