Heart Happy (cathy_edgett) wrote,
Heart Happy
cathy_edgett

Contemplation -

 

My thoughts of late are on how complex each of us is, and how many parts we integrate.

It looks like the book, Breast Strokes, will come out on February 14th and will be available to pre-order on Amazon before that.  Naturally I'm hoping people will pre-order because as I understand it that is a very good thing within the realms of book publishing.  

I have been struggling with some resistance in myself on the whole subject of this book and how we are expected to market it.  That requires talking about it and it is a part of my life I struggle to re-visit, and yet ....

Today I had a Rosen session and what came up is that I don't want to be pitied, and I struggle to accept for myself the courage it took for me to do what I did, so there is a bit of a disconnect there.  We went through reasons why that is so and I'm hoping to have moved through something or shuffled some inner chairs around.  People love this book.  I know that and I know I am not the book.  How then do I speak about it in a way that is helpful to others?  What do I offer?  I'm still struggling to find clarity there, but perhaps that is about this continuing struggle to believe I have something of value to say.  

What I see in all of this is that giving and receiving are one, and it is not always easy to understand or believe that.  Perhaps that connects with how we all are one, each one of us representing different aspects of the other.  

However it is, I am grateful for life, and hoping to better understand this world we share a little more clearly this year.  I'm also hoping to be more compassionate to the many parts of myself and to honor those parts that fear and protect and those that lean out happily to pluck new fruit from a range of trees.  

May my reach be one of clarity, and continuing cultivation of compassion and peace!


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