I've felt a shift with this new openness, this spaciousness, this awareness of space, and these last three mornings, I've awakened early and stepped outside to see the sky change from dark to light. This morning when I opened the door, I heard an owl: Hoo, Hoo, Hoo. Then, when I was snipping a piece of bamboo for a brass vase that was my grandmother's, I realized the owl was right there with me. Owl flew a short distance away, "Screech, Screech, Screech."
Owls symbolize wisdom and foresight. They also eat rodents. I'm happy to have one here. It is breeding time for owls. Perhaps baby owls are here.
Steve is scheduled for surgery on Friday. If someone cancels, he will have the surgery sooner, so we are hoping for that. He continues in pain. What it means for me is a deepening appreciation of each movement, each breath. I had been cultivating stillness. How long can I sit without moving, sit peaceful and still with awareness of breath? I had been sitting outside with the plants, planning to blend in enough to be invisible, but in this with Steve, I see I can move with that same awareness. I am not invisible. I am one with all this, and this moves. Owl moves. We stir the wind. I am grounded in a physicality I don't think I've tasted before. I am awake.
I have mentioned that each night before bed I answer questions that Spinoza suggested. What inspired me today? When did I feel balanced? When did I feel happy?
Spinoza was banned from his Jewish community for his beliefs, and yet he spoke like this:
"The question for me is always, 'How can I inspire the person I'm talking to, how can I meet them where they are at, from their point of view?' What's life like for them right now? How can they walk away feeling inspired, moved, changed?"
~Baruch Spinoza (1632-1677)