Lately I've been feeling more deeply than usual. I made this weekend a retreat weekend for myself, got food in, stayed home, spoke to only a few people on the phone. I went through notes I had taken in 1994 when I was on a month-long sensory awareness retreat in Mexico. I thought of my father and his childhood, my mother, and hers. I went back in time, and I felt the fullness of my heart, front and back. I actually went on-line and read about the structure of the heart, looked at diagrams, and thought of how it functions, pumping, keeping me well, giving me life.
This morning I noticed heart-ache, heart-break. I could feel my heart both in my chest and in my back, opening like a clamshell, opening with might have been pain, but, perhaps was simply feeling, feeling pouring in like water to a tide pool at high tide.
I think now of what fragile creatures we are, and yet, we are out in the world, driving cars, fighting injustice, real, or perceived, and yet, we are tender, tender meat inside.
Salt comes in tears.