Heart Happy (cathy_edgett) wrote,
Heart Happy
cathy_edgett

A pulse

In honoring the need for darkness this week, I've gone within, within chests of journals and workshops of the past.  What a treasure trove is here, all of it echoed within.  Here are records of choices I made in my life, contacts, connections.

What attracted me then?  What attracts me now?

I am in a period of receptivity.  I notice light and dark, see the days lengthening as though waking with a stretch, and yet, lying in bed I may see the sky as it lights, but then when I come to the brightness of the computer screen, the outside still seems dark.  Even so, I believe I've changed my relationship and receptivity to light and dark.  I feel the light even as it comes through clouds.  I notice because I have to.  My skin is still tender to light, but in the noticing is a new honoring inside and out.  I feel free somehow, fresh, cleansed.

Also, gratitude is my mantra for this year, and in that, seems to be reception.  I am receiving myself, pausing to see this organism, and who and what she is and has done, and that seems to be opening new organs of perception, new ways to receive.  I am content.

Last night I met a friend for dinner.  I was early so walked by the marsh at twilight.  The mountain, Mt. Tam. shone her outline even in the gathering of darkness.  The marsh sparkled in transition.  I think my eyes have adjusted to new seeing, new honoring of the pulse in light, the life in dark.  There is a joining in transition, the two as connected as life and death, the cycling and recycling that steers, guides, and refreshes our newly evolving and deeply tender, continually tenderized, if we allow it, path.
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