Heart Happy (cathy_edgett) wrote,
Heart Happy
cathy_edgett

Today!

I haven't posted here since the election. I was devastated, stunned. Each day I ingest what I can. What comes from Trump feels like poison, like toxins. I've been through chemotherapy. I know what it is to be ingested with poison. On the other hand, that poison allowed me to heal. I am here. How do we use the toxic poison of Trump to heal?

I sit in my home today, looking out on yellow leaves, leaves waiting for the call to drop. I am entranced as I always am this time of year with the softness of winter light. It is raining, raining tenderly. I am touched, invited into myself and my own need and curiosity to explore. What is here for me now?

I decide to open a locked file, one that contains journals of the past. It hasn't been opened in years. I have to search to find the key. It is in my grandmother's sugar bowl. I come to 2004, and something I'd written before my mother's passing in 2005, and before my treatment for cancer, though I suppose cancer must have been there at the time. I assume cancer takes time to develop, doesn't just pop out like a jack-in-the-box, or maybe it does.

Anyway, I put here what I wrote then. It seems appropriate. I altered it a bit to fit what we face now as we turn this world around like a globe small enough to hold in our hands and view with love, love of our planet, love of ourselves, love of those who surround and support us, love of those whom we embrace and who embrace us.

As Within, So Without

"We don't see things as they are. We see things as we are. The more accurate saying would be believing is seeing." Thomas Humphrey has overseen the creation of an exhibit at the Exploratorium in San Francisco to illuminate the truth of his words. The question of "How much freedom should we trade for our security," is an opportunity for each of us to step into a new awareness of how our beliefs influence what we see, and for me that is a step into beginning to understand the breath. The breath is a continuum of freedom and security that defines how we live. We need to feel secure in our breath, in our body, in our ability to receive and release, in order to feel secure. In the breath is trust.

Oxygen was once a toxin threatening life's future. Then, respiration came in to save. Now, fear is a toxin. Cruelty and unjust attacks are toxins. Again, respiration can save. How?

Breathing fully, breathing calmly into ourselves, and through that into the world, we can be Gandhi's change we want to see. The revolution is in the body. We cannot allow fear of Trump to allow us to constrict. We must breathe, breathe fully into our values of kindness, love and interconnection, and believe fully in the light we see and process in and out, as we live and love and breathe.

I choose how I process my breath. I choose how I give and receive. I choose how I see and I see love and peace.
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