Heart Happy (cathy_edgett) wrote,
Heart Happy
cathy_edgett

Breathing!!

Yesterday I participated in a sensory awareness workshop at Fort Mason in San Francisco. Though I wanted to arrive calm, I came agitated with the political news. What I noticed first was that my breathing was shallow, cautious, held. Then, I saw how limited my vision. My eyes weren’t drawn outside to look at the waves in the bay and the Golden Gate bridge. My focus was on the ache in my heart. I began to allow the breath to move in and out, to expand in its path of entering and exiting. How far could it enter, and how far could my personal exhalation reach out into the world?

In that, just that, breathing with more clarity and notice, fear began to release. Curiosity began to nuzzle inside and out. I settled into myself, this being that appears to be a separate individual, and yet is part of and interdependent with the environment and the world. The fear that had pulled me into a frightened, tight, and rigid ball, released. As I expanded out to become more aware of my environment, the muscles around my eyes relaxed and my vision expanded. Oh, there is a wider world to see and perceive and play with and interact with. Oh! This is fun. This is play! I walked and my hips began to sway.

I became more and more aware of the environment as part of me, of myself as part of the environment. I don’t end with my skin. Breath doesn't begin with the end of my nose or the opening of my mouth. Air is moving in and out everywhere. I am a process, breath and energy moving in and out. What is true of me is true of countries, of boundaries. Our vision expands when we are free to move in and out, to move freely and easily with the possibility of touching more deeply, more deeply ourselves and more deeply and completely, others. This is our guide. Touch. Breath. Air. Shared.

In that, giving and receiving are one. There is enough.

At the break in the workshop, each of us went outside and wandered individually around Fort Mason. I was surprised to feel so full and content that I didn't need anything. Though it was lunchtime, I didn't need food or flowers. I walked without temptation through the bookstore. I was pumped on exchange. I walked and absorbed. A woman was singing folk songs. A child was going up and down some steps. Though I wore wool, a young man strolled by in a pair of shorts. I looked at the water, listened to and watched gulls, and saw a huge container ship bringing in goods. The water flows in and out with the tides. Air is shared, and I expanded and released in being part of the energy and environment of Fort Mason, San Francisco, California, and the world. Each of us is one with a wider world and no one person is going to change that. Individually and collectively, we are one with a sky filled with stars, a luxurious harvest of more than we may see and absorb, and yet it is there when we open more fully to breath and the unity in connection, trust and touch.

And now a comment on trust. What is it to trust, to bring the breath in more fully to every crevice, hidden and not? What is it then to bring the depths of where that breath has now touched out into the world, swooshing and seasoning the air with a heart filled with love? Try it! It's free!
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