Amazingly I began to realize that my abstract design was a painting of me, and I liked how I looked. My arms were long and reaching out, and I seemed well-grounded. I was on the diagonal, but what the heck, so I began to work with me and what I needed. I painted a huge heart, that spread into wings, and then, I wanted to be warm, so I wrapped some scarves around myself and I had hair as I was, and hair as I am now, and then, she pointed out I had painted over my arms, and I was realizing I was a bit too enclosed, so I painted more arms, and turned them into the limbs of trees, and I added yellow for the sun, and pinks - everything had a rosy-pink glow, as I like to look through rose-colored glasses. It was amazing to feel it all. And then, I painted a zipper of kisses, x's down the front so I could easily step out if I wanted to, and then, I painted over some of the x's, and she said to watch that, to notice when I cover up, so all in all, it was quite fascinating, and I felt relieved as I went through what I feel and need.
I also felt incredible gratitude from all the gifts I receive. I told her that has been the most amazing part of this, all the gifts, all the receiving, and that I am learning to graciously receive, even though it seems overwhelming at times. I left with my colorful painting, feeling happy, peaceful, content. I guess I was the happiest person to ever walk in for a shot, because everyone commented on it.
I struggle with the indulgence of this. It seems odd to be sitting in the middle of the day with one person watching me paint. All of this is free. I think about our society. There is so much for those going through cancer in Marin County. I learned today that people come from all over the country for this facility. No wonder. It turns out there is a massage person right there I could be using. I think of children in this country who are hungry and abused, and here, I am, with someone watching me paint. I struggle with it, and I am trying to learn to receive it, knowing there is a reason I continue to receive so many gifts. Thank you all for all you do!! There is a reason this world is so blessed! It is YOU!