Heart Happy (cathy_edgett) wrote,
Heart Happy

Art as therapy -

I had a new experience today. Since I had to return to my favorite place for my shot, I decided to partake of the art class offered for cancer patients. I thought it would feel like preschool, a bunch of people sitting around a table painting, but I was the only one there, so Barbara set me up with a huge piece of paper, some water colors, water, and an array of beautiful brushes. She said I should be relaxed like a pre-schooler. I grabbed my brush like a pre-schooler would, and pointed out they were rather expensive brushes to use in such a way. She agreed. I began and she watched me. I realized this was an art therapy session. I told her I only paint abstractly. I am too intimidated to try and paint "something." She was fine with that, and just wanted me to pull out what wanted to come, and what I thought the painting might want. Well, I was fine with that, and started right in.
Amazingly I began to realize that my abstract design was a painting of me, and I liked how I looked. My arms were long and reaching out, and I seemed well-grounded. I was on the diagonal, but what the heck, so I began to work with me and what I needed. I painted a huge heart, that spread into wings, and then, I wanted to be warm, so I wrapped some scarves around myself and I had hair as I was, and hair as I am now, and then, she pointed out I had painted over my arms, and I was realizing I was a bit too enclosed, so I painted more arms, and turned them into the limbs of trees, and I added yellow for the sun, and pinks - everything had a rosy-pink glow, as I like to look through rose-colored glasses. It was amazing to feel it all. And then, I painted a zipper of kisses, x's down the front so I could easily step out if I wanted to, and then, I painted over some of the x's, and she said to watch that, to notice when I cover up, so all in all, it was quite fascinating, and I felt relieved as I went through what I feel and need.
I also felt incredible gratitude from all the gifts I receive. I told her that has been the most amazing part of this, all the gifts, all the receiving, and that I am learning to graciously receive, even though it seems overwhelming at times. I left with my colorful painting, feeling happy, peaceful, content. I guess I was the happiest person to ever walk in for a shot, because everyone commented on it.
I struggle with the indulgence of this. It seems odd to be sitting in the middle of the day with one person watching me paint. All of this is free. I think about our society. There is so much for those going through cancer in Marin County. I learned today that people come from all over the country for this facility. No wonder. It turns out there is a massage person right there I could be using. I think of children in this country who are hungry and abused, and here, I am, with someone watching me paint. I struggle with it, and I am trying to learn to receive it, knowing there is a reason I continue to receive so many gifts. Thank you all for all you do!! There is a reason this world is so blessed! It is YOU!

  • Return -

    I haven't been here in awhile and I return today to learn there is a "new post editor". I start to try it and then go back to the old. I am…

  • It's Morning!

    I've been here at Live Journal since October, 2005. I started it to keep in touch with family and friends as I went through cancer treatment.…

  • The sun is shining!

    Where I live the sun is shining and the buds have popped out so the plum trees are waving white. We've had months of rain, record breaking rain and…

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.