Heart Happy (cathy_edgett) wrote,
Heart Happy
cathy_edgett

Today -

Today, I was driving to my massage, (free, thanks to enthusiastic Marin fund-raising) which the nurse practitioner told me was as important as the chemo in my healing, and I realized that, of course, it is hard on those in the medical profession when I complain. They are working to save my life. That it might sometimes feel uncomfortable to me is irrelevant to them, and probably even seems ungrateful. I felt a real change of heart.

Then, I met Al, the man who works with women with breast cancer in Marin, and he was wonderful. Going along with the above though, he looked at my medical records, and said you have a good chance of survival since you are receiving both chemo and radiation. I was shocked. A good chance of survival? I'm 100% surviving this thing! Again, it was a chance to feel a bit of my disconnect between what might be going on, and how I sometimes choose to interpret it. Of course, I am feeling better today which helps, but I think I will be a little less of a pill on the next go-around, though I will see. : )

The massage was indeed helpful. I felt myself as the temple I am. Afterwards, I walked along the creek. I saw a wonderful statue of the Buddha sitting there with a little Christmas bear that looked like Winnie the Pooh hanging from a tree branch above him. It was perfect. I saw coots, geese, ducks, and gulls.

I began this adventure with gratitude for life. I think returning to that place will help to carry me through. The sun shining is helping also. I hope the sun is shining on you!!
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