Heart Happy (cathy_edgett) wrote,
Heart Happy

Good Early Morning!

Wednesday, I had lunch with my friend Vicki. As we spoke, I realize how much I am choosing to fully feel this experience. I don't distract when I go to chemo. I take a book of poems that will stimulate my senses to more directly and evenly feel the flow of the chemo into my veins, the flow of the mountain, the hill, the tree, the birds, the sky into what sustains. I am using this experience to more clearly know and honor when I am hungry, and tired, so that I eat when I am hungry and rest when I am tired. It is that simple, I am told. Enlightenment! Chop wood! Carry water!

This morning, I feel my chrysalis beginning to thin. Light is beginning to peer in, to tint my chrysalis, pink, yellow, and green. I see through a window, though I am still wrapped. I think of poems I wrote at one time about the pygmy owl who bores a hole and lives in a saquaro cactus. I wanted to be that owl and feel what the sunrise was like from inside that cactus. I am feeling that now. Like the rising sun is tingling the inside of my home with softest yellow and pink.

We walked along the marsh and saw two pin-tailed ducks mating. That was a treat. She was quite funny when their union was finished, and kept splashing herself up and down. She seemed to be relishing the fertilization of her eggs. He watched content. Soon after, the clouds increased, and there was a soft blanket of rain. I am happy to know that babies will soon be here. I look forward to checking in on them. We were blessed to catch an extremely low tide. Saturday will bring an extremely high one.

Vicki kayaked Elkhorn Slough in Moss Landing the day before. She said there were sea otters everywhere. That sounds like an experience each of us should have. A beautiful day to you. The day is still dark, and I am peace and light.

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