Steve informs me the last three paragraphs in my last posting don't make sense to him. Jan's parents are still trying to convince her to marry someone Chinese and a doctor. They inform her they can't sleep and are losing weight over her decision to marry my son. I would like to not find that upsetting, as I truly do know it has nothing to do with me or with Jeff, but just like with the chemo, and the twitching, there is something underneath that is upset.
I was trying to imagine myself this morning leaping into wider, rapidly vibrating circles of electrons, leaping into the expansive places where the qualities I admire, steep. I was looking for exuberance and peace.