I took my car in for its regular maintenance today, and I feel so good when I do that. I love my car and my intention is that we are together for the rest of our lifetimes, so we are both happy that he/she is all checked out and purring with fresh oil.
It takes about four hours, so I dropped my friend car off and walked across the street for breakfast, and then, looked around to decide which way to go. Last time I walked to Ring Mountain. Today, I decided to cross the freeway, an intriguing experience in itself as one goes one way and then another and up a curved ramp and then down, and then, I headed to the library which is closed on Friday but has the most delightful outdoor garden. There is a plaque that says,
If you have a garden and a library, you have all you need.
I certainly agree!! People passed by dropping off their books, and it seems I dressed perfectly to be sitting on a bench in the garden. I sat among flowers of blue, violet, yellow and pink. I wore soft blue and green. I'm glad I didn't clash. People wanted to take my picture. It is fun to be landscape.
I am reading The Far Side of Madness by John Weir Perry. Now, here is a fascinating book. He studied and worked with schizophrenia, and viewed it as a necessary way to integrate. Listening can help a person through their episodes and allow them perhaps a new life, without the need for drugs.
After a bit of reading, I decided to head over to the toy store. I volunteered last night to take care of the two and a half year old grandson of my good friend one day a week, so I am preparing. His mother is having a bone marrow transplant. I had to pass the book store to get to the toy store and it has a rest room, so I really didn't plan to get a book but now I have George Lakoff's The Political Mind: Why You Can't Understand 21st-century American Politics with an 18th-Century Brain. I've been resisting this book since it came out, and today my resistance was gone.
The toy store was filled with children entranced with what I had come to purchase, Thomas the Train. I was told I couldn't go wrong, so I checked out the engines and cars, and called Zack's dad to be sure I wasn't duplicating what he already has, and I now have a train engine called James that comes with a story, and, also, a portable train set in a suitcase. My intention is to give Zack the train engine, and then, explain that the suitcase only comes out when I am coming to get him. He has never met me, so it is going to be quite something to gain his trust at such a difficult time. I am hoping these toys will begin to do the trick. I don't normally believe in bribes and this is a special case.
I headed back, stopping for a pound of Peet's coffee, and on the bridge home was looking directly across at San Quentin. San Quentin always stops my heart. I tremble with the pain of those inside, and here I am, walking outside on a bridge, looking down on cars, carrying a new book, toys, and coffee. What gives me the right, and it is true I haven't killed anyone, but I have also had a gentle life. What would I be like with a different upbringing, so prayers to those imprisoned and a return to my beloved vehicle and a stop at the grocery and we are home in the fog.
Connection Well awaits.
One more thing. I think that judgment, judging another or ourselves is not helpful. We are each here, each unique, and we learn in relationship, and how, then, do we best change our oil and lubricate our wheels. I more and more come to see we are here to embrace each one of us, difficult as that may sometimes be.