McCain Wins Debate
Fri Sep 26, 2008 at 09:20:05 AM PDT
Barack Obama might as well go back to his suspiciously unsuspended campaign, because John McCain has already won tonight's debate.
"McCain Wins Debate!" declares the ad which features a headshot of a smiling McCain with an American flag background. Another ad spotted by our eagle-eyed observer featured a quote from McCain campaign manager Rick Davis declaring: "McCain won the debate-- hands down."
And now we know how McCain intends to deal with the nation's economic crisis -- they've invented time travel.
Having come up with technology so advanced McCain can win the debate before he even announced whether he'd show up for the debate, the Republican team is ready to go on to their brilliant plan to save the nation from its current fiscal crisis. The McCain campaign isn't putting out all the details, but it involves sending Sarah Palin back in time with a moose rifle. If McCain economic adviser Phil Gramm suddenly vanishes into a puff of smoke, you know she's been successful.