Heart Happy (cathy_edgett) wrote,
Heart Happy
cathy_edgett

Mothers -

Vicki sent me a booklet by Ajahn Amaro called "Who Will Feed the Mice?" It is a dedication to his mother who when he spouted the Buddha's words to her about how children can never repay their parents replied, "What utter balls!" "Why do you talk about it in terms of being in debt? What could be more wonderful and satisfying than bringing children into the world and watching them grow? It isn't like a job that you need to be paid for." I agree with that.

He also speaks of the downside of "an ever-present, totally loving mother," in that "you might actually believe that you are the center of the universe!"   I, also, can relate to that.  : - )

What Amaro seeks to place to rest for himself is his desire for nonduality, therefore, no separation into the me here, and the other there, and his desire to honor his mother, as his mother, as the incredible person she was.   He speaks of two men, two "great masters," who he perceives of as "two supremely detached beings" who "built their temples on their mother's ashes."   He says, "There's a mysterious twining here of both the realization of ultimate truth and the recognition of the unique quality of that personal connection on the material plane.  It's almost as if the mother is the primordial symbol of reality, as she is the source of life on the physical plane."

I consider this now, as I feel my mother as so much a part of me, and yet, also as  very separate from me.  Maybe this is all my imagination, what I want to believe, or maybe she truly is sprinkling me with sugar and spice, as she flits here and there, and all about, and, maybe it doesn't matter, and, of course, it doesn't.  "Nothing" matters, and nothing matters.   However it is, I am joyous in the spring, as I feel her within and without, as one with all, as am I, and as participatory with me, as the I that I also seem to be, for now. 
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