The half moon is a dance in the sky.
Today a friend reminded me of the book Anam Cara, by John O'Donohue. It is one of those books you can open anywhere and find what you need.
This evening I am here:
"You can only befriend the negative if you recognize that it is not destructive. It often seems that morality is the enemy of growth. We falsely understand moral rules as descriptions of the soul's direction and duty."
He goes on to say we can use moral rules as signposts.
"Nietzche said that one of the best days in his life was the day when he rebaptized all his negative qualities as his best qualities."
He writes of cultivating solitude, inviting silence. "When you come into your solitude, you come into companionship with everything and everyone."
I sit tonight with what I might perceive as my negative qualities and rebaptize them as my best. It is about unity, unifying my sense of self, recognizing more aspects of my soul.
I spent time today with a man whose wife of many years died recently. He is dealing with his grief, reading Joan Didion's book, The Year of Magical Thinking, the book about the loss of her husband and child in one year. My friend will attend Vanessa Redgrave's performance of the solo work of The Year of Magical Thinking at St. John the Divine in NYC on Monday night. It sounds painful to me but he finds it helpful to know he is not alone in his grief.
Sometimes I wonder how we endure such pain and yet we do - we hollow out - open out - seem to open space within almost like the game we played with our hands and fingers when we were young. "Here is the church and here is the steeple. Open it up and here are the people."
O'Donohue writes about knowing ourselves. My understanding is that the movie Where the Wild Things Are is about that, is a movie for adults more than children, a movie of recognition and incorporation. I sit tonight beckoning integration and the opening I see when I watch logs burn and they are there in their red embered state, not dissolved, but silky in warmth and light. I like that state, so open and warm, not dissolved, but certainly ready in that heat to transform.