I am wearing a red heart necklace, a gift from them, and looking out on a mobile also, a gift, that smiles with a huge red heart and below it is a clear blue ball. It is as though love pours down on the earth. My heart takes it in like that.
From Chris and Frieda, I received books, among them a book of O'Henry stories. Together, they read out loud The Gift of the Magi. If you need to refresh yourself on it, here it is.
They gave money to various organizations in our name and there is something satisfying in that.
We arrived back home on Saturday and I realized I was sick. I had been ignoring it, but it swooped in big-time, so I huddled under blankets with a fever and simmered in meditation and dreams. I realized that this idea of resolutions for the New Year is rather silly. I understand the setting of goals and intention and yet it becomes more and more clear to me that living is about presence in this moment. What does this moment need in the cultivation of the whole?
That said, we decided this morning to cut our Comcast subscription. We got started with HBO because we wanted to watch Bill Maher but it is a great deal to pay for one show that seems to be often on leave and vacation. I also realize that I want this year to be gentle. My stomach seems extremely sensitive of late as to what it can take. I glanced through the news today and realized my angst over it does not help the situation. Perhaps I can be more productive, more able to facilitate change, when I am less directly involved with the daily report of catastrophe and hate.
Paul Krugman writes today that no progress has been made in the last ten years, and perhaps even backward steps taken. I'm not sure where to put that. I suppose it might be wiser for each of us to look back on our last ten years, and what they have been personally. Perhaps our financial situation has deteriorated, but how is our life? How have our belief systems strengthened, belief in what really matters to us and the future in this world and the next?
I will sit today with what I've learned in this ten years. I believe I've learned to listen better, to better receive the other, and to perhaps to remove some of my projections on who they are or who they need to be. My goal for the next ten years is to be more clear in who I am so I can allow others to be more clear in who they are. We are each here with individual gifts. I hope to become more clear in what is mine to give.
Happy week of swing. It seems we are between something this week, absorbing that the light returns, even as, where I am, it is very gray and dark. As New Year's comes, what do these four days mean. We say good-bye to one year and begin anew. It is a threshold, an honoring as we look back, even as we look forward with curiosity for what is ours to meet and make.
On another note, here is another story from O'Henry with quite a different tone than The Gift of the Magi. I loved it when I first encountered it and I love it now. I love his writing and love the twist. May your days be Light.