The New Yorker this week has chosen some letters by Saul Bellow to share. I am particularly struck by this statement in a letter to Martin Amis, March 13, 1996.
He had attended a memorial service and Saul Bellow writes:
"I found myself saying to her daughter Rosanna that losing a parent is something like driving through a plate-glass window. You didn't know it was there until it shattered, and then for years to come you're picking up the pieces - down to the last glassy splinter."
I believe that can be interpreted different ways but what I know is that it is a huge transition. My father died in 1969 in an accident so the loss was combined with the shock that life can change so quickly. With my mother, it was time and I was grateful she was pulled from suffering and she left "clues" so I could feel her surrounding me with love and comfort and it is a huge shift, much stronger than I was prepared to expect.
I bow my head today to my parents and the beautiful love they shared.