Heart Happy (cathy_edgett) wrote,
Heart Happy

Good Morning -

The sun is out, and Mandu insisted on sleeping on me this morning, thus, keeping me in bed longer that I would ordinarily allow or choose. There I reflected on all of this. I let myself feel. I felt like bandages were unwrapping from my head. Steve commented on Tuesday how the fountain in the meditation garden looks like a brain. Well, of course, and it has water splurting out the top. How symbolic it is of refreshment and change. The brain changes during meditation, and chemo certainly allows a place to meditate and reflect. I have had a rest.

I felt this morning how this all happened so quickly, one blast after another, until the final diagnosis of metastasized cancer. Who could take that in? I didn't understand, and so some tears fell this morning, as I felt how it was to go from feeling I would live forever to would I live very long at all. Would I see my family on the East Coast? What happened? It has been quite a journey.

I moved my hands over my eye sockets this morning. I enjoyed the shape and expanse. I thanked my veins for all they have been through. There is scar tissue there now. They are grateful to rest. I am grateful for life and rest. I am grateful to be here.

Thank you!

  • Return -

    I haven't been here in awhile and I return today to learn there is a "new post editor". I start to try it and then go back to the old. I am…

  • It's Morning!

    I've been here at Live Journal since October, 2005. I started it to keep in touch with family and friends as I went through cancer treatment.…

  • The sun is shining!

    Where I live the sun is shining and the buds have popped out so the plum trees are waving white. We've had months of rain, record breaking rain and…

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.