Heart Happy (cathy_edgett) wrote,
Heart Happy

Breathing and Release

There have been requests to know how Katy is doing.  I have hesitated wanting to have good news.

This morning I come to the computer and see this quote:

Sometimes, if you stand on the bottom rail of a bridge and lean over to watch the river slipping slowly away beneath you, you will suddenly know everything there is to be known.
- A.A. Milne

Yesterday my focus was on breathing.   The important thing has been to keep Katy's diaphragm moving, so I went to the bay and sat on a bench, and meditated on jellyfish because they move up and down like our diaphragm.  A man called me over to see something.   There was a live jellyfish, most unusual up in the bay like that, and she/he was beautiful with four rose-pink circles on top and she/he turned over so I could see the wonderful organs that orchestrate this beautiful creature.  

Ah, big breath.

The news on Katy has been heart-breaking, but it shows her incredible spirit, and that is heart-breaking too, heart-breaking in a good way.  She is a courageous child.   She breaks me open with her beauty, appreciation, and care for others.  She is a child of generosity of spirit, a child of connection, a manifestation of joy.

The news this morning is that she had Lyme disease and that led to the Giullian Barre.  Why she wasn't tested for Lyme initially I don't know.  They live in CT for heaven's sake.  My brother had Lyme disease and nearly died from it,  because it wasn't diagnosed but he was in CA at the time, and it was more rare back then.    This diagnosis has led to a change in plan and she just got her first food.  Perhaps now she can build her strength.  The MRI was normal so that is also good news, so maybe I do have good news.

The news last night was not good, and was so bad, that I realized the lesson for me was to release.  Every moment for me has been spent in prayer but I was praying for this and for that.  I wanted this.  I wanted that.  There was ego involved.  I went to bed with a prayer of release.

I slept on the couch because Will put something on the wood to keep termites away and I couldn't handle the smell.  Steve is in Shanghai.  When I woke this morning and summoned the strength to open my eyes, I saw the sun on the ridge, and beautiful white clouds.  I do see this is about faith and acceptance.  I think maybe now this morning we have some hope, and as I say, I'm trying to release on an agenda with the hope and trust that what's best for Katy, what fulfills her soul plan is happening.  Yesterday someone was praying for her in Australia and a koala hopped into her yard.  Our prayers are answered, but we need to be careful that our agenda is put to rest, and we trust in larger hands.

Thank you for your support.   I feel the breath of your support.    I feel the larger diaphragm as we breathe in this sea we share.  

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