Heart Happy (cathy_edgett) wrote,
Heart Happy
cathy_edgett

Intensity

Steve will have surgery this morning at 10:30.   He has been in pain for almost three weeks.   I am up early, awake, aware.  The anesthesiologist called last night to check in.  We gather to keep one person alive.  Again, I am reminded of how interdependent we are, how strong as a tribe.  Something like this puts things in perspective.  I wonder how certain of our legislators can filibuster and miss the larger point.  We are all going to die.  We all have people we single out as special, but, ultimately at a time like this, it is so clear how we are all one, all gathered like a bouquet of flowers, in what is love.

I have our medical directives in my purse to be scanned into the hospital computers.  We did them a few years ago and then they went into a file in the closet, high up on a shelf, but we are more aware of our mortality these days, of the importance of having our wishes stated and notarized.

Wednesday night I was so exhausted I felt turned inside out, and shaken.  We had spent time at the hospital doing the pre-op check-in, and going to the urologist and then the drug store for prescriptions.  Yesterday, we were here.  I made chicken soup.  It was a renewing day, a comforting day.  I think we are prepared, as prepared perhaps as we are meant to be, as we never know what now unfolds.

We are meant to ride the waves.   Today, we're in the curl.  
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