Someone informs me that, as a child, she would get stomach aches when her mother was disappointed in her. I think of that today. What right do we have to be disappointed in another? Each of us is here in our own little way, just like a tree. I think it is to think kindly of those around us today, to think of each of them as a new little sapling, and, perhaps, some are huge now with thick trunks, and still there is a sapling inside waiting for a hug.
I think also of the tenderness of little children, that entrustment we are given around these soft little beings. I hear people yelling at their children, and it seems so clear just strolling by that they are yelling at themselves, their own frustrations. We all do it, and yet, in the peace and quiet of this morning space, it is so easy to reflect on it, and to want more ease in myself for kindness to myself and others, both adult and child.
Today is chemo day. I don't seem too nervous. My eye is not twitching, so I am taking that as a good sign. I am curious to see how the tree is doing. Surely, it will have buds, and perhaps, even blossoms. I should be able to see the mountain. I am going to image myself as a tree today, 360 degrees round, not just a front and a back. I'll feel my blossoms, held open like bells, to tingle gently and soothe.
I remember now reading that bird song opens the leaves in spring. There is something about the vibration. It does make sense that the arrival of the birds in the north would be a signal for the trees, but who knows which comes first, the trees spreading open their leaves, with a come-hither curl, or the birds standing there singing. However it is, it is lovely to hear and see.
Great ease, joy, and appreciation to all today!! I am sorry for five hours inside, but I will be able to see the mountain, the hill, the stream, and the tree.