February 14th, 2006

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Spatial Awareness -

Look at the trees. They are 360 degrees around. There is no front or back. They grow outward in circles. Doesn't that seem like just the way to be?

Someone informs me that, as a child, she would get stomach aches when her mother was disappointed in her. I think of that today. What right do we have to be disappointed in another? Each of us is here in our own little way, just like a tree. I think it is to think kindly of those around us today, to think of each of them as a new little sapling, and, perhaps, some are huge now with thick trunks, and still there is a sapling inside waiting for a hug.

I think also of the tenderness of little children, that entrustment we are given around these soft little beings. I hear people yelling at their children, and it seems so clear just strolling by that they are yelling at themselves, their own frustrations. We all do it, and yet, in the peace and quiet of this morning space, it is so easy to reflect on it, and to want more ease in myself for kindness to myself and others, both adult and child.

Today is chemo day. I don't seem too nervous. My eye is not twitching, so I am taking that as a good sign. I am curious to see how the tree is doing. Surely, it will have buds, and perhaps, even blossoms. I should be able to see the mountain. I am going to image myself as a tree today, 360 degrees round, not just a front and a back. I'll feel my blossoms, held open like bells, to tingle gently and soothe.

I remember now reading that bird song opens the leaves in spring. There is something about the vibration. It does make sense that the arrival of the birds in the north would be a signal for the trees, but who knows which comes first, the trees spreading open their leaves, with a come-hither curl, or the birds standing there singing. However it is, it is lovely to hear and see.

Great ease, joy, and appreciation to all today!! I am sorry for five hours inside, but I will be able to see the mountain, the hill, the stream, and the tree.
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Happy Valentine's Day!!!

How could I forget that Cupid is flying all over the place today shooting little arrows right into our hearts?

Happy giving and receiving of all the splurting as a result of all these arrows aerating our hearts with the Joy of Spring!!!
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For my Mother today -

Today I Was Happy, So I Made This Poem

                                                                by James Wright

As the plump squirrel scampers

Across the roof of the corncrib,

The moon suddenly stands up in the darkness,

And I see that it is impossible to die.

Each moment of time is a mountain.

An eagle rejoices in the oak trees of heaven,


This is what I wanted.

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Post Turtle -

This comes in an email today. Who could resist placing it here? Not me!

While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75-year old Texas rancher whose hand was caught in a gate while working cattle, a doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually, the topic got around to former Texas Governor, George W. Bush, and his elevation to the White House.

The old Texan said, "Well, ya' know, Bush is a 'post turtle'."

Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a 'post turtle' was.

The old rancher said, "When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a post turtle."

The old man saw a puzzled look on the doctor's face, so he continued to explain, "You know he didn't get there by himself, he doesn't belong there, he doesn't know what to do while he's up there, and you just want to help the dumb shit get down!"

Now, this may not seem, on first glance, kind, and yet, I think Bush would be happier if we removed him from his post, so he could pull back into his shell of a ranch.

I know, also, that I, the birds, animals and trees, the lakes, oceans, and streams, would be happier too.
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Checking in -

This morning, I found myself singing, "Happiness is only two more chemo treatments!!"

I floated in, and all went reasonably well. There is always the problem of insertion, and, for me, there is some pain with the injection, but overall, it was fine. I realized in my jubilation this morning that this is how people get through wars. We respond to an end. That is the problem in Iraq. There is no end.

So, amazingly, everything up there is blooming, but "my" tree. There was one tiny bird sitting on a top branch, but the tree is bare, like my head. I guess we are in empathy.

Everyone is cheery today because it is Valentine's Day. I learn that this with my feet is a very unusual side-effect. I wonder what other odd side-effects are going on within. I definitely seem to have different side effects than other people. I said it feels like my head is glowing. She has never heard of that before, and so, it is.

I am very cheerful because now I ONLY HAVE ONE MORE CHEMO TREATMENT. This is so exciting I can hardly stand it. Yay!!!! We went out to dinner to celebrate, and I feel GREAT!!!!! The end is near!!!! Yay!!
Happy Valentine's Evening to All!!!
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Health -

I don't know where this comes from so can't give credit, and maybe the author doesn't want credit so they can't be sued, but I think there is some very useful information here, especially the last paragraph. It works for me. Enjoy!!


Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't
waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up
your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can
extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer?
Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and
corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than
an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need
grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green
leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your
recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine.
That means they take the water out of the fruit, so you get even more
of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one.
If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular
exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!... Foods are fried these days in vegetable
oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more
vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You
should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO. Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the
best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had
about food and diets.

And remember:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to
skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other -
body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming Whooooooo what
a ride!".

Chris forwarded me information today on a $1000.00 sundae that can be ordered at a restaurant in New York City. It sounds amazing. Check it out if you are interested. http://www.dailyolive.com/got_1000_why_no.html