This morning I am with the work with the horses. Jim always says there is no competition between us, and, of course, I understand that. Perhaps, the lesson is also not to compete with ourselves, not to compare. It is to stay fluid. I realize today that for me just being able to open out that left arm to direct the horse is a big deal. That I am beginning to again trust that it is safe to have my sternum out is another huge step, and it goes back and forth, in and out, like the tides. I think in the horse work I really feel how sensitive the steps, how precise and fluid they can be.
I feel my feet on the floor today. They still feel gritty, like I am walking on sand, and I am hoping that will begin to go away. I am amazed how long the Taxol effects stay.
Today is the fourth day since radiation ended, so, I am told that tomorrow the effects will begin to go the other way. Because radiation is culmulative, it keeps going, like a huge freighter. It doesn't just stop, but, from now on, there will be more ease. I am sleeping more and deeply, and feeling the increasing light of these late May days fertilize my bones.
from CONCERNING THE BOOK THAT IS THE BODY OF THE BELOVED
When I open the Book
I hear the poets whisper and weep,
Laugh and lament.
In a thousand languages
They say the same thing:
"We lived. The secret of life
Is love, which casts its wing
Over all suffering, which takes
In its arms the hurt child,
Which rises green from the fallen seed."
- Gregory Orr
This poem is by either Ted Kooser or Jim Harrison. They have a book, Braided Creek, and they toss poems back and forth in conversation, and they don't say who wrote which poem.
from BRAIDED CREEK
At my age,
even in airports
why would you wish
time to move faster?
I smile, and agree. Well-said!
Steve and I saw the Ron Howard movie today, The Da Vinci Code, a perfect rainy day for it, and we both enjoyed it, despite what seemed to me to be rather negative reviews. It did not seem too long to us. It takes time to unfold, and I greatly appreciated that we did not have a love interest between the two main characters. Thank God and Goddess for that, a movie that recognizes that two people can explore together and not end up in bed. Isn't that the whole point of the movie? The goddess and sanity return. There is a richness to the movie, and I love the beauty of the scenes, and the merging of the past and the present. I could not imagine editing it any differently than was done. We both enjoyed it, and left feeling at peace with a movie that allows you your own choice as to ending. What do you choose to believe?
Also, I had no problem with Tom Hank's hair. What is wrong with some of these male reviewers? I thought both he and she did a good job of two people coming together in most unusual and dangerous circumstances to uncover a mystery. His hair seemed just right to me, and I was fine with the pacing which allows one time to think. Oh, my! I guess we don't want that in these times.
There is a good editorial in the NY Times today on how all this instant messengering and email is affecting the depth of our thought. There are new TV shows aimed at children the age of six months. Oh, my. I worry about our ability to see and discern when our eyes are confined to TV colors and not the depth of exchange when we are outside.
I fertilized plants in the mist today. I am becoming used to this wetness. Soon, my complexion will be as dewey as the complexions of the women of England. What a treat is the skin of many of those young women in the Cotswold's in England, though when I was there this summer, I learned that many of the young girls who "serve" are not English at all, but are foreigners from Scandinavian countries. Can you imagine? And so it is, and has been. May we all on this planet live in peace, and a beautiful fan of feathers framing the views, the richness of so many views, except those that hide behind a multitude of Bushs' and stew about how to allow only a few to chew the news, like tobacco, and spit. Happy Sunday to You!! I'm enjoying the wet. I hope you are enjoying what the sky is bringing to you.
I consider the Ron Howard movie, The Da Vinci Code. Did I walk out changed? I see it like the small changes I am feeling in horse therapy. I learn to lift my arm and trust the pain will go away. I lift my sternum a bit more, and feel the change in how I feel inside, with that open center reaching out to probe and welcome just a little more.
Might there be offspring of Jesus walking around? Does it matter? Is it exciting to think so? Yes, I believe so, because lineage is intriguing. We want to know where we come from, and ultimately we all come from the same place. Can we allow different viewpoints? I would love to think so. I would love to see us co-exist, with one unifying theme, which is what ultimately benefits us all.