May 27th, 2006

Book Cover

stable -

I feel like a stable this morning, a stable of people, horses, and feelings, and then, I remember that Jesus was born in a stable, and placed in a manger among the animals.   It feels symbolic of this experience with the horses. 

In the Rilke workshop, we speak of the history of Christianity and Judaism.  It is a background for what Rilke was working to understand,  and embody, so that he could create his own experience, his own creation and exchange with God, reciprocality.  I feel how ignorant I am of tradition.  I was not raised in it.  We were a family of the 50's, constantly moving, following my father's job.

I have lived in this house now almost 29 years.  I have roots.  I have old friends now, and new ones, new ones every day it seems.  Cancer opens up a whole new world.  A woman who helps run the MV Library contacted me yesterday about what the library could do to support women with breast cancer.  I realize there is wonderful support for those with cancer, but less for the families and friends.  I suggested she orient what she creates toward families and friends. 

We discussed the value of fiction in helping people with cancer.  A quick scan showed 150 fiction books dealing with breast cancer.  When I spoke with Diane, who heads the Circle Library for breast cancer she said she feels the real "story" is so incredible  that fiction cannot compare.  It is true that I have not been into fiction with all of this, but I see where it might support those who are in support.  

The day is lovely.  It is Memorial Day weekend.  We attend a wedding tomorrow at Silverado Country Club.  It is a weekend so full, and spacious that I sit, enthralled, listening to bird song and watching the shades of light.    I am with boundaries today, who I am, and where I end, and where  the rest of the world begins, and ends, and I see there is no beginning and ending, , just as there is no life and death.  All is.  In this moment, all is.  In this moment, I am a particle, and then, there is the wave.  

I return now to the stable.  All is stable for me.   I am the baby in the manger, the animals, the history, and all that surrounds.   I am content.  I feel whole today, circular, round.  
Book Cover

Politics -

I always vote.  I voted for Shirley Chisholm for president way back when, and have continued to vote, almost always for the lesser of two evils, but the more I read about these two ding-a-lings running for governor in CA, I think I am going to leave that spot blank.  I am not going to vote for people who campaign negatively.  How hard is it to say this is what I am going to do for the environment, instead of this is what the other guy did not do for the environment?   I don't understand it, and I am sick of it.  I am also sick of having my phone ring every 20 minutes with a computer message of who I should vote for.

I am also struggling to understand why Joe Nation, who I did admire, is running against Lynn Woolsey, who,  in my opinion, has served admirably.  When I see his negative advertising campaign against her, I back off completely and wonder why he didn't choose to run where I could have supported him.  I have lost my respect for him, and for the whole game of politics.  I am not going to vote for people who campaign negatively.  I am seriously considering leaving the spot for governor blank, unless in the next bit of time, one of them convinces me they actually have some ethics.  I am so sick of the lying, and I look out on this beautiful day and wonder why it is so hard for a politician to just say what they are for.

In communications work with Mudita Nisker and Dan Clurman, I learned to use I language.  I think.  I feel, not you are an asshole, and responsible for all my problems.  I don't understand why our politicians can't take advantage of the opportunities that abound, and learn some basic communication skills.   Maybe, then, they could  make some statements they can fulfill, and then, do just that,  when they are elected.   Wouldn't that be loverly? 

It is a weekend for dreams, as we honor those who have died, and look back and forth, caught between different ways of meeting an evolving world.   This world is made up of wonderful people.  It should not be that hard to find leaders who lead with ethics, empathy,  understanding, and I statements.  "I will do this.  I pledge to do this."  Pledge, and mean it.  That's where I'll bite. 
Book Cover

Naming -

Here is a poem by Gary Young on the subject of naming, a subject I have been interested in, of late.

    The world is made of names; my son is learning to speak.  He has faith.
    He believes in things.  Rock, I tell him, leaf.  No, this, he says, holding the
    rock.  This, he says, holding up the leaf.

                - Gary Young