June 8th, 2006

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Another beautiful morning -

I look out on another exquisite day, and immerse, drink, and feast.   It is hard not to be pulled out of oneself on such a day, and so, I am patting the edges and wholeness of it within, tucking this day in like a baby, for when I need its warmth to awake.  

I am reading a book on boundaries, and as I took the beginning test, I saw how I have changed in this experience.   My boundaries are stronger, and, in that, I am more connected.  It is an interesting phenomenon.  I dictionary.com the word "phenomenon" suddenly wondering what it means.  It means this:  An occurrence, circumstance, or fact that is perceptible by the senses.    Hmmm!

Yes, this experience is "perceptible by the senses."  I see, hear, touch, taste, and smell the difference.  I am calm and spacious.  I have room, and rooms, and my boundaries are fluid, and I think that came from the constant immersion in the sea of what I could understand, which was nothing and everything.

I feel like a jellyfish floating in the tides. 

The acupuncturist yesterday spoke of how a session changes the physicality of one's being.  I come home each time, and rest and feel what is going on for me.  My feet float, even though the numbing, tingling problem is still there.  It is less though.  The gravel is just on the balls of my toes.  I am firmly planted in this day, and ready to stretch as I know my plants are already doing.  I feel them wrapping the air like yarn.   They are growing quickly, like my hair.   Joy, peace, ease, and love to All Today!!  What a blessing it is to be alive!!   I am deeply grateful for more time.  
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bouncin' fun -

Somehow I couldn't let go of the plants wrapping the air like yarn, and I felt them out there, too,, rappin' their song. 

I feel my plants wrapping the air like yarn,
    feel them rapping too. 
They have quite the rhythm,
    shaking the ground with an inner boom.
Like a car on rap,
    they  bounce Up and Down,
        jouncing, pouncing,
        round and round.


 Okay, start tapping your foot, cuz it's time to bounce like the rap of a root.   (well, it spells in rhyme.)

Plants rap the air, like the beat of a car,
bouncing, pouncing,
round and round.

Boom!  Boom!  
The beat is here,
in the center of the daisy

where the petals brook,
tap out a meetin'
that says, "Come look."

Come look, come look.
Tap out a meetin' that says,
"Let's hook!"

And that's how I'm meetin' the day - with petals that say, "Let's meet and hook."

Savor pollinated air and feel  the fertile core.  

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Such a Morning!!

I talk to Jane this morning and her sky is overcast, while mine is blue.  I continue, after, almost 29 years, to be amazed at the swirl of fog and clouds in the Bay area.  I noticed yesterday that the fog was blowing across and south rather than north.  I will see how it is today as I am having another celebratory lunch today with my neighbor and we have chosen Guaymas in Tiburon for its view of the bay and the butterfly dance of the fog. 

Jane and I decided today to go back in and look at what we have written since October 27th when we began.  Each day we will find a day where we matched, and write what we think we ourselves were saying and what we think the other was saying.  We have been putting this off, or I should say I have been putting it off, because I have been afraid to go back in and look, but today, felt miraculous.  I am in awe at what emerged. 

How many times do I need to learn this lesson?   When I go into what I fear, go deeply into it, I enter a sacred, joyful place.  My heart feels touched with a wand this morning.  I sit in grace filled gratitude.  

We began with my poem about the mole, and her wonderful poem about Jim, the tender gardener.   We wound through the themes,  and found new poems.  We were trying in a way to translate our poems, and now, we have new ones, and it is entirely possible, that Jane and I could spend the rest of our lives on those two poems, but  we move on tomorrow to look at the Still Point.  We began with gardens, and then, the realization that I was the still point and Jane was in the world and moving around.   What would that create?   We each envied perhaps the world of the other, and somewhere in here, I think she and I have become both, and perhaps, you, too.
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Our miraculous world -

not extraordinary but the common mode of existence. It is our daily bread. Whoever really has considered the lilies of the field or the birds of the air and pondered the improbability of their existence in this warm world within the cold and empty stellar distances will hardly balk at the turning of water into wine--which was, after all, a very small miracle. We forget the greater and still continuing miracle by which water (with soil and sunlight) is turned into grapes.

Wendell Berry

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Evening light -

It is so lovely tonight and I want to see the moon in the night sky, and I am very tired, so I am staying awake, but gently so.  I am noticing an advantage to the reduced energy, and that is focus on what is important.  There is no energy for anything less.  I think I understand the state of surrender now, where all just is, and can be no more.  The lessons continue in this and I give thanks for that. 

I am listening to a beautiful CD tonight - Nos by Virginia Rodrigues.  It is perfect for my mood. 

I think of how we wait for the fireworks on the fourth of July.  I am waiting for the moon like that tonight.  It seems that exciting to me, that it shines up there in the sky and moves across like a wand. 
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Satisfaction -

I realize it is to be satisfied with the energy we have.  I have just enough. 

The New Yorker reviews and highly recommends the Al Gore movie, "An Inconvenient Truth" this week.   The review ends with these lines.

    "But in person - he is on a speaking tour to promote the movie - he presents a combination of intellectual force, emotional vibrancy, and moral urgency that has hardly been seen in American public life in recent years.  It will be interesting to watch how skeptics will deal with Gore's bad news on the environment without making themselves look very small."

    I hope this foretells a change. 

There is a wonderful new sculpture at the Sculpture Garden at the new De Young.  It is Joan Miro's La Maternite.   Timothy Anglin Bugard writes about it in "Fine Arts Museums of San Francisco."  Here is one paragraph from his article. 

    "La Maternite (1973) explores one of the oldest themes in art: maternity or motherhood.  Like famous antecedents such as the Paleolithic Willendorf Venus, almost every element of the sculpture's pneumatic form embodies associations with womanhood and motherhood, including the swelling and growth associated with sexuality, fertility, and pregnancy.  The central oval opening resembles abstracted female sexual organs, a womblike recess, or the split in an embryonic seed or cell.  The void in this opening suggests that fertilization has not yet taken place, or perhaps that a birth has already occurred."

It certainly seems like a fertile time for a visit to the De Young.  Its now empty womb calls to be filled with our presence.  Let's go!!   City Ho!!