June 18th, 2006

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Good Morning!!

I wake early this morning, 4:45.  All is silent.  I listen for awhile and then the birds awake.   I feel myself purring.  I am a fine-tuned engine.   Finially, I feel myself running smoothly after a rather unsettling time, and yet, in each moment, was a wonderful presence.  Now, I lay that presence out like a picnic feast for myself and the birds and the bees.   The moon is bright in the eastern sky. 

We watched part of a show last night on two men setting up a trip to ride their motorcycles from England east to the Bering Strait and across and eventually to New York.  Since they would be crossing Mongolia and some really isolated areas, I figured it would be pretty interesting, but my impression was that their focus was on the negative.  This was wrong and that was wrong.  The trip was to take about four months, the same time as chemo, but I felt their approach was so different than mine, and maybe if I had a camera crew following my four month chemo journey, it would have been the same, but what it showed me is that there are many different ways to edit your life.  This edit seemed determined to show the misery of it.  Perhaps, the joy was taken for granted, or maybe we don't need to see journeys.  Perhaps, I prefer the reflective quality of reading them in a book.

 Some of these documentaries seem to me to have the same writer or editor.  Life is set up for problems.  At the last minute, the cameraman calls up to say he has failed his motorcycle driving test, but he is smiling like crazy.  I wondered if it were staged for drama, because the next thing we know he is on the trip, having passed it seems on the next try on the same day.  I don't know that any of us need created drama in our lives.  It seems to me that life provides enough.  I also wonder about self-consciousness coming in when someone records all we do, and yet, maybe it is all being recorded in some vast data bank, and that is the point of what some call God.  All is known.

Today, we celebrate Father's day and our anniversary.  Food is ready, and we have a huge cake.  Yum!!   A celebratory day is this.   I offer Thich Nhat Hanh.

Feelings, whether of compassion or irritation, should be welcomed, recognized, and treated on an absolutely equal basis; because both are ourselves. The tangerine I am eating is me. The mustard greens I am planting are me. I plant with all my heart and mind. I clean this teapot with the kind of attention I would have were I giving the baby Buddha or Jesus a bath. Nothing should be treated more carefully than anything else. In mindfulness, compassion, irritation, mustard green plant, and teapot are all sacred.

-Thich Nhat Hanh, "Miracle of Mindfulness"

The aroma of skunk fills the air.  Someone just got sprayed.   The moon wiggles its nose.   A pungent scent. is shared between us for awhile. 

Enjoy a beautiful Father's Day!!   Give thanks for the father energy in the world, and the sweetness in which we all enfold!
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Web-site -

I come across a wonderful web-site this morning.  Here are some quotes that appeal to me. 


Do not speak- unless it improves on silence.

You can explore the universe looking for somebody who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and you will not find that person anywhere.

Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared.

Ajhan Chah

Do not try to become anything.
Do not make yourself into anything.
Do not be a meditator.
Do not become enlightened.
When you sit, let it be.
What you walk, let it be.
Grasp at nothing.
Resist nothing.

If you haven't wept deeply, you haven't begun to meditate


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Fishing -

Google's Father's Day tribute is father fishing. 

From an Assyrian tablet in 200 B.C. come these words:

"The Gods do not subtract from the allotted span of men's lives the Hours spent Fishing!!"

Fish in whatever way you choose today.  There are all sorts of ways to catch what swims.

There is a fly casting retreat for "breast cancer survivors."  Unfortunately the dates don't work for me, or I could have three days of calm, learning to flly fish, and yet, perhaps, as I stand calmly in watering time today, it is here.

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Imagine and play!!

The imagination is like a car battery.  "When you leave it inactive is when it runs down."

Garcia Marquez

Return to childhood today.   Imagine like a child.   Play!  Play as work.   Invest in your day!

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We are amazing!!

Between our eyes is the ethmoid bone which contains a trace of iron.  Why?   So, we can be sensitive to the earth's magnetic field, and know where we are going.

Use your iron today and explore. 
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ethanol -

There is an article by Pat Bedard in the July Car and Driver.

The Energy Policy Act of 2005 says that starting in 2006, the average gallon of "gas" will contain 2. 78-percent ethanol.   Should we be thrilled?   Well, there are many considerations here.  Pat Bedard sees it as a boon for the petroleum industry, not the other way around.  One problem is that "some studies have concluded that making ethanol from agricultural products requires more energy than is contained in the finished product."

Also, the making of ethanol is heavily subsidized, by who?   Us!  The tax payer.   What a surprise!

But the most amazing part is this, the fuel economy using "E85" over regular gasoline diminished fuel economy more than than 30 percent in two of the three tests.  "The EPA's numbers suggest that fuel economy worsens by 28% on E85 compared with regular gas."  "On any Tahoe equipped with a 5.3-liter V-8, the E85 flex-fuel feature is a no-cost option, but running E85 reduces the driving range from roughly 390 miles a tank to about 290.   

There's oil in them thar ears of corn, and the smell is not one to thrill.   Fish, anyone?