August 13th, 2006

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Sunday morning -

It is cold and foggy and there is no complaining around here.  The kitties are bouncing, and are happy with their indoor world.  Today, at 6:00, we will have had them in the house one week.  I read the paper with Tiger on my lap, then, come to the computer, and find on-line what I missed as I read the paper version of the paper.  I am so trained to on-line reading, now, that I seem to grasp better from the screen. 

There is a web-site reviewed today that I checked out and signed up to receive their daily "green" tip.   Check out: 

        http://www.idealbite.com/

Also, there is an important article in the SF Chronicle today on soy.  It is by by James Nestor.  I am supposed to limit my intake of soy because of the estrogen problem, so I am surprised to read that it is in cereal, bread, pasta, chips, cheese, condiments, yogurt, sausages, ice cream and M&M's.

It wasn't until the Chinese learned to ferment soybeans around 500 B.C. that it was considered suitable for human consumption.

"For American industry, the age-old Asian method of using the whole soybean and fermenting it to remove the toxins took too long and the end product was often dull and tasteless.  To speedily process soy "waste" into soy protein products, U.S. soy producers washed beans with alkaline, heated and pressure-cooked them, combatting their naturally bitter taste with sugar and infusing them with additives to prevent spoiling.  This process greatly improved flavor but removed many of the beneficial nutrients."   Kaayla Daniel, author of "The Whole Soy Story: The Dark Side of American's Favorite Health Food," says it also left in and introduced many harmful toxins. 

One thing this article brought out that I was unaware of is that soy may harm the thyroid.  The article concludes that, as we know, moderation is key, but, as I say, I am surprised to realize how much soy I may be taking in without realizing it, and, for me, soy is a no-no.

Steve Rubenstein, who has been doing a benefit bicycle ride across the country arrived in Washington D.C., his trip complete.  He says he discovered that the perfect food is the banana, and, that plain water is super great.    Perhaps, it is time to get back to our roots, way back, to monkey roots.  Happy banana consuming today, and drinking, if you can find them,  from unpolluted streams. 
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The dream is alive!!

Op-Ed Contributor

This Is London


Published: August 13, 2006

London

ANOTHER week, another flash of terrorism in my city, this one, thankfully, thwarted by the British security services. As usual, the headlines hit me on my doorstep. Islamic terrorists have worshiped at the Finsbury Park mosque, a 10-minute walk from my home. Two of those arrested last week live in my neighborhood, Stoke Newington.

On Friday, to escape my unquiet thoughts, I put my 1-year-old daughter in her stroller and walked into the park that is literally outside my door. In a world slowly splitting at the seams, Clissold Park is like a dream.

Huge families of Hasidic Jews, in their unseasonably hot, traditional dress, stand along the railings feeding the ducks, geese and squawking moorhens who nest on the willow-draped island in the middle of the pond. Next to them, equally vast families of South Asian Muslims, the women in unseasonably hot hijab and long skirts and occasionally full burkas, are doing the same. The kids run along the railings, intermingling if not actually engaging with one another.

I push my baby toward the park’s playground and close my eyes for a moment. These are the languages I hear: Turkish, Urdu, Arabic, Yiddish, Polish, Russian, Greek, Somali, Amharic and other African languages I cannot name. On Sundays, Spanish and Portuguese are added to the mix as groups from other parts of town turn up to play soccer.

There are all varieties of English, too. Stoke Newington has been thoroughly gentrified in the last decade, and now you hear cut-glass accents that used to exist only in Kensington and Chelsea along with working-class diphthongs and glottal stops from the local housing projects.

What makes this worth commenting on is that within Clissold Park, some of the most intractable conflicts in the world seem to have been resolved — or at least temporarily ignored. Kurds and Turks, Jews and Muslims, working-class and middle-class people (this is Britain) all coexist, enjoying the lawns, the deer park, the ponds, the rose garden and the wading pool.

Some of this is possible because of bedrock British custom. For example, queuing. There are only four swings, far too few for the number of kids who use them (another British tradition, not providing adequate public facilities). But parents take care to wait their turn. The Hasidic Jew nods to the woman in hijab, and the exchange of swings takes place, with none of the coiled resentment I have seen in American playgrounds.

When I first moved to the area in 1989, the park did not have anything like the variety of ethnicities and nationalities using it. What has happened in London since then is possibly the most remarkable peacetime change in the ethnic composition of a European city. Without warning and by increment, a vast influx of people from around the world has changed the city into something like the idealized, happily multiethnic, liberal New York of my childhood.

That’s not to say it’s all Elysium around here. There have been hate crimes; the local mosque was attended by Richard Reid, the so-called shoe-bomber, and Zacarias Moussaoui. But whenever the hate and violence threatened to boil over, leaders from all faiths spoke out, calling for peace, and the tensions cooled.

Still, as I watch my daughter and listen to the din of a dozen languages, I feel an end-of-summer sadness. Someday soon, someone with an inability to value what is precious about Clissold Park will commit the act that shatters this small world and drives all of us into our corners. Before that happens, I want my daughter to know that there was an alternative.

Michael Goldfarb is the author of “Ahmad’s War, Ahmad’s Peace: Surviving Under Saddam, Dying in the New Iraq.”

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A new perspective -

Editorial Observer

The Television Has Disintegrated. All That’s Left Is the Viewer.


Published: August 13, 2006

A couple of weeks ago, I bought a high-definition, flat-screen television. Don’t ask me how big or how much. I feel bad enough about it as it is. Something about a television still says to me, “Shouldn’t you be working?” This one apparently said, “Buy me,” as well.

I have purchased three TV’s in my life so far, and I’ve loved only one of them, an old Sony Trinitron — but that was in the days when Thurman Munson was still catching for the Yankees. This time around, a friend showed me his new LCD TV, one of the many new sets purchased around the globe for the World Cup earlier this summer. The next day, I was immersed in buyer’s research, which is meant to be a prophylactic for buyer’s remorse. Life is like that. Sometimes you find yourself trying to make a rational choice based on an irrational decision.

This was a thoroughly contemporary purchase. I bought the set online, but only after reading many reviews and downloading the user’s manual and studying it carefully. A few days later the box came. I carried it upstairs and opened it. It was like letting induced obsolescence loose in the house. I moved our former television — 21 inches, 12 years old — out of the way. What a squat, toadlike object it had become over the years! What a perfectly cubelike concentration of gravity! The old DVD player? Toast. The VCR? A laughably analog apparatus for dragging magnetized videotape along its sorry, bleary path. And as for TiVo, time for yet another upgrade.

It seemed, in fact, as though the very idea of television itself was disintegrating. Televisions have always contained two devices: an apparatus for displaying the picture and a tuner for receiving the broadcast signal. And yet they have always seemed like single things, as unitary as a light bulb. You plug them in, turn them on, and there is the old familiar glow of “Laverne and Shirley” beaming down out of the skies. But this new television is nothing like that. It is a town square, an ecumenical gathering place for signals of all kinds. There are all the usual connections, of course, plus ports for a computer (which plays DVD’s), a game controller (which plays DVD’s too), a video iPod (which plays downloaded videos), and a separate port for something I have never heard of called “Service.” There’s a tuner in the TV and also two in the TiVo box. So where, exactly, is “the television”?

I think the answer is that we are now the television. Think of all the devices we carry that snatch signal out of the air or intercept it as it streams past over cable of some kind or another. Think of all the possible sources of signal — not merely network and cable but Youtube and iTunes and a million more as broadband broadens. A device like TiVo used to seem remarkable: sitting at home, watching television all day long, saving what we asked it to save or what it thought we might like to have saved. But there is no such thing as cosmic TiVo, dialed in to all the signals that pass through our lives, coordinating and saving Web sources and air sources and cable sources and personal sources, like home videos and digital photos. We ourselves are the tuner in the television set, modulating all these inputs, carrying them to the new flat-screen panel for viewing, one by one. The idea of sitting down in front of “the television” and watching “what’s on” seems almost romantically archaic. Until you try it. Then it just seems archaic.

These are my thoughts now. I have not even begun to think about the coming battle between the two new high-definition DVD formats — Blu-Ray and HD-DVD. I’m like a lot of people with a new flat-screen television — like anyone who bought a television in the early 1950’s, for that matter. It’s hard to care much what you are watching when the picture is so good. But this is a temporary state of satisfaction. I suspect it will last only a weekend.

The real problem is living with the choice I’ve made, which means living with all the choices I didn’t make. One manufacturer has just announced a new LCD that is lighted with light-emitting diodes — L.E.D.’s. That means lower energy consumption and brighter screens. I’m going to try not to wish I had waited. Last week, a friend told me he uses a high-tech digital projector, connected to his laptop, to watch DVD’s on a blank wall in his apartment. I envied him for a minute. And then I remembered. All of our blank walls are covered with books.

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Deepak Chopra on Peace -

Deepak Chopra helps us deal with what is happening in the world by answering the question of what each one of us can do to ease our pain, and feel we help.

He says:   I wanted to give a few points that may help all of us who are asking ourselves, "Is it realistic to hope for a new kind of humanity when the same old aggressions keep coming back?"

1. Change doesn't start on the surface. It's generated from consciousness. This has been true throughout history. If Buddhism can begin with one person and Christianity with twelve, let us not think in terms of numbers and odds. It may sound grandiose to compare ourselves to great spiritual guides, but we act collectively, as an alliance. Our strength comes from critical mass.


2. We aren't here to make the world evolve. We are here to evolve as individuals and then to spread that influence. In the wisdom tradition of Vedanta, the stream of evolution is known in Sanskrit as Dharma, from a root verb that means 'to uphold.' This gives us a clue how to live: the easiest way for us to grow is to align ourselves with Dharma. We don't have to struggle to grow--that would be unproductive, in fact. The Dharma has always avored non-violence. If we can bring ourselves to a state of non-violence, and connect with others who are doing the same thing, we have done a huge thing to reinforce Dharma.


3. Societies get into the grip of their own self-created story. It's helpful to realize that we can choose not to participate in that story. Realize that national and tribal stories are limited, self-serving, based on the past, reinforced by orthodoxy, and therefore opposed to real change. Stories are incredibly persuasive. Wars are fueled by victimization that runs deep, for example. So let us not try to change anyone's story. Let us only notice and observe ourselves when we buy into it and then let us back away from participating in it.


4. Let us not demand of ourselves that we alone must be the agent of change. In a fire brigade everyone passes along a bucket, but only the last person puts out the fire. None of us know where we stand in line. We may be here simply to pass a bucket; we may be called on to play a major role. In either case, all we can do is think, act, and say. Let us direct our thoughts, words, and actions to peace. That is all we can do. Let the results be what they will be.


5. Let us realize that engagement and detachment aren't opposite--the more engaged we become, the more detached we will have to be. Otherwise, we will lose ourselves in conflict, obsessiveness, anxiety over the future, and feelings of guilt and inadequacy. Keep in mind that we are pioneers into the unknown, and uncertainty is our ally. When our minds want closure, certainty, and finality, let us remind ourselves that these are fictions. Our joyous moments will come from riding the wave, not asking to get off at the next station.


6. Since most misery is born of failed expectations let us learn to minimize expectations so that we will feel far less guilt and disappointment.


7. We aren't here to be good or perfect. We are here as the antennas for signals from the future. We are here to be midwives to something that wants to be born. Good people have preceded us. They solved some problems and created others. As one wise teacher said, "You aren't here to be as good as possible. You are here to be as real as possible."


8. I know this sounds difficult, but let us try to be tolerant of intolerance. This is a hard one at times, but if you try the opposite--showing a hard heart against those with hard hearts of their own -- all we've done is expand the problem. It's helpful (but often difficult) to remember that everyone is doing the best they can form their own level of consciousness. Trying to talk a terrorist out of his beliefs is like trying to persuade a lion to be a vegetarian. All we can realistically do is seek openings for higher awareness.


9. Let us resist the lure of dualities. These include us versus them, civilized versus barbarians, good versus evil. The good, civilized people of Europe managed to kill millions of themselves, along with millions of "them." In reality we are all in the same boat of human conflict and confusion. Sometimes it helps to admit that the doctor is not far from being a patient.


10. Let's create an atmosphere of peace around ourselves. Imagine that we are like a mother whose children come home crying about fights at school. Would it be her job to soothe their wounds or to arm them for fighting back tomorrow? Simplistic as it may sound, the male principle of aggression can only be healed by the feminine principle of nurturing and love.

Love,
Deepak


Wise words to guide our way!!
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from Heron Dance -


EYES CLOSED, I let my ears take over,
giving full attention to sound:
crickets, birds, traffic in the distance,
wind through cattails,
even the soft in and out of my own breath
as it slows to nature’s pace.

I open my eyes to green—so many shades,
and the dried, golden color of hay,
cut and bound into large, tight rolls,
scattered about the field
like giant grazing beasts.

The gentle breeze on my skin,
the lumpy field beneath my feet,
the pure burst of sunlight in my mouth,
as I bite into a tomato fresh from the vine.

This is when life makes sense.

Chris Heeter from Weekly Wild Thoughts


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Airport Security -

Steve whizzed through airport security this morning with nothing checked, and toothpaste intact.  It seems, as before, now is a safe time to fly, as most people are checking everything through, and it is a breeze, in this moment, to hop onto a plane.  Now, he is at the airport with tons of extra time.
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When you create fear, fear creates you!

  The Frightened
    By William Rivers Pitt

    Sunday 13 August 2006

    It would have been easy enough, at first blush, to mistake the GOP's reaction to the foiled bombing plot in London as one of joy. The Republicans were, to be sure, pleased enough with the turn of events, simply because the story of narrowly-avoided disaster took everyone's eyes off Iraq and the diplomatic catastrophe unfolding in Lebanon. Yet their joyful reaction masked a deep sense of unease that verges on desperation. The midterm elections are looming, and the well of issues the GOP can draw from to save their majority status is just about empty.

    It has been widely reported that the White House knew arrests by British authorities of individuals involved in the alleged bombing plot were coming days before they happened. Such is the advantage of being the party in power; it allows one to see over the horizon and prepare a political response. Hours after Ned Lamont defeated Joe Lieberman in the Connecticut primary, Vice President Cheney described Lamont as being the candidate preferred by "al Qaeda types." This kind of rhetoric becomes all the more loaded when stories of plots to use liquid explosives against nine commercial airliners share the front pages, and the timing is singular.

    It didn't end there. Republican Senator Mike DeWine of Ohio, facing a stiff challenge from Democrat Sherrod Brown, cashed in on the bomb plot to paint his opponent as soft on national defense. Former New York City mayor Rudy Giuliani attempted, quite literally, to cash in on the story as well. "In the middle of a war on terror," wrote Giuliani in a widely distributed fundraising letter, "we need to remain focused on furthering Republican ideas more than ever before."

    "Weeks before September 11th, this is going to play big," an anonymous White House official was quoted as saying. There it is, in a nutshell.

    One might indeed think that the Republican Party was thrilled at the prospect of nine commercial airliners blowing up over the Atlantic Ocean, given the broad-spectrum reaction by the GOP to the news. In truth, however, they are scrambling to manufacture the one element that has served them over these past five years: fear. They cannot stand on their record; their rhetoric has grown bone-thin, and so they are pulling that hoary old club out of the bag one more time.

    It used to be effective. Whenever the GOP sought to frighten the populace into voting against their own best interests over these last years, the Democrats all too often would curl up into a ball and go along for the ride. This appears to be changing. A concerted assault by the Democrats on the record of this administration and its congressional Republican cohorts has been put forth. Notes are being sounded that have been sorely lacking. "If the Republican Party thinks that this is going to be a good political issue for them, they're mistaken," said Senator Charles Schumer of the thwarted bomb plot. "We are going to answer them immediately."

    "During the 2002 and 2004 elections," wrote Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid in an email to supporters and activists, "Republicans tried to sow fear in the American public by claiming that they were the only ones who could keep America safe. This from the same crowd that has driven Iraq to the brink of disaster, left Osama bin Laden on the loose to attack again, and continues to ignore our security needs at home. Ask any foreign policy pro, and they'll tell you we're less safe now than we were five years ago."

    "Why can't the Republican party put the safety of American citizens first?" asked Congressman John Conyers Jr. on his blog. "Why do Republicans first think of political advantage when our nation is at risk? It's time for leadership that will boldly fight terrorism and bolster our homeland security instead of promoting fear as a political prop."

    Revealing details on the Bush administration's woeful record on national defense have been coming to light. ABC News reported that the General Accounting Office warned, back in 2005, that no precautions were being taken by the Transportation Safety Administration to detect elements of liquid explosives - the very weapon the plotters in Britain allegedly intended to use - being brought aboard airplanes. The FBI and the Department of Homeland Security followed up with their own warnings about this exact threat. The Bush administration did nothing to respond to these warnings, and is now rolling out the old "no-one-could-have-anticipated" excuse for their failure to anticipate such a threat. More recently, the White House attempted to strip $6 million in funding for such explosives-detection technologies out of the Homeland Security budget, a move that was stopped by Congress.

    The GOP hope that their scare tactics will distract the American public from the mess in Iraq is almost certainly doomed to failure. Violence in Iraq escalates by the day, and our own generals are publicly debating the likelihood of a full-scale civil war. Billions of dollars have been wasted on this adventure, money that could have been used for more pressing national security needs. Worse, our relationship with the international community is almost completely broken. We can no longer count on the cooperation of the world to assist us in stopping future attacks. We've got Britain, whose security services shame ours, and that's about it.

    Congressman Conyers has delivered a scathingly detailed report on the lies and machinations that led us into Iraq. This report, above all else, is the basis for the GOP's fears. If their scare tactics fail to motivate the voters in November, they may well lose control of the House of Representatives. Should this happen, Conyers will assume the chairmanship of the Judiciary Committee, and his report will become the hood ornament on an investigation into the myriad failures, lies and manipulations that have sent 2,600 American soldiers into early graves.

    The Bush administration and the GOP have spent the last year making political hay by being the frighteners in chief. Today, those same tactics carry a note of hysteria. They have nothing else to run on. They have become the frightened.


    William Rivers Pitt is a New York Times and internationally bestselling author of two books: War on Iraq: What Team Bush Doesn't Want You to Know and The Greatest Sedition Is Silence.
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and then there is this -

Sandy flies into London tomorrow.  Here is what she has to say about airline security.

    "I have just talked to United and I cannot even take lipstick into London, and no journal and no pen, and no address book, and no carry on and no handbag and everything (money, passport and travel documents) must be in a clear plastic bag.  Everything is different flying into London and out of London."


    London is extra careful, because they have still not found five of the bombers.  Still, I don't know what I would do without paper and pen.  I don't know if computers are allowed or not, but it is quite a long flight to not have the comforts of writing down one's thoughts.  Perhaps, they hand out paper and pens on board.  I hope so.   I suppose we have taken the luxury of airline travel for granted.  It seems flying overseas will not be as before.


Auguste Rodin wrote this:

    "There are unknown forces within nature; when we give ourselves wholly to her, without reserve, she leads them to us; she shows us those forms which our watching eyes do not see, which our intelligence does not understand or suspect."


    Perhaps, silent and quiet airplane time can allow more of that.
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Ernest Holmes -

I am taking time to plunder through a treasure-trove of reading material.

Here is Ernest Holmes on the power of thought.

    "One of the most important things to remember is that we cannot demonstrate life beyond our mental ability to embody.  We give birth to an idea only from within ourselves.  What we are, we put into our thinking.  What we are not, we cannot put into it.

    If we are to draw from life what we want, we must first think it forth into life.  It always produces what we think.  In order to have success, we must first conceive iit in our own thought.  This is not because we are creators, but because the flow of life into manifestation, through us, must take the form we give to it, and if we want a thing we must have within ourselves the mental equivalent before we get it."

    Holmes continues, and then, writes, "We find that we attract to ourselves as much of anything as we embody within.  As water will reach only its own level, so our outward conditions will reproduce only our inner realizations."

    I take his advice and enlarge my inner receptivity, and grow my concept of life.   He says, "growth and realization are always from within and never from without."

    "A good practice is to sit and realize that you are a center of Divine attraction, that all things are coming to you, that the power within is going out and drawing back all that you will ever need."

    I can do that, and perhaps, I did that during treatment, and then, I stumbled a bit, in the transition back to what is now.  I sit today, more centered, in my desire to attract from within.  I feel like a Venus fly-trap.  Zap!
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Cellular Wisdom -

In the magazine, Science of Mind, Joan King is interviewed by Linda Potter on her book Cellular Wisdom: Decoding the Body's Secret Language.

Joan King writes in Cellular Wisdom:

    "Take, for example, the principle that information flows from the interior of a cell to its outer reaches.  The same pattern is repeated in the way instructions pass from the interior of a population of cells to cells on the periphery.  Moreover, the principle underlying this pattern - that guidance originates from the center - can be seen everywhere in the body."

I place some excerpts from the interview here. 

    "Underneath, deeper than the energy of the molecules or the subatomic particles, is an energy field.  That energy field, which is the life force, comes into every cell."

She suggests setting up an energy pattern of expansive perspective. 

We wire the brain with our activities.  We can choose the patterns we create.   Viktor Frankl came out of Nazi concentration camps and looked for the meaning.  He took his fear and transcended it.    

Sometimes we have to let a pattern dissolve before we find the meaning and value in it. 

The power we have, as Eckhart Tolle, says is in the NOW.    Sculpt soul, with choice, moment by moment.  

The body honors the rhythem of on-off.   We, like our bodies, need the balance of silence.  Connect, there, in silence, with cellular wisdom.

Have fun, with that.   : )
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Parabola Magazine -

Parabola Magazine asks and answers.

WHAT IS A PARABOLA?

    A parabola is one of the most elegant forms in nature.  Every path made by a thrown ball, every spout of water from a fountain, and every graceful arch of steel cables in a suspension bridge is a parabola. 

    The parabola represents the epitome of a quest.  As stated in our first issue, it is "a curving line that sails outward and returns with a new expansion - and perhaps a new content, like the flung net of a Japanese fisherman."  It is the metaphorical journey to a particular point, and then back home, along a similar path perhaps, but in a different direction, after which the traveler is essentially, irrevocably changed.

    Parabolas have an unusual and useful property: as in a satellite dish, all beams of energy (e.g., light or radio waves) reflect on the parabola's face and gather at one point.  That point is called the focus.

    In a similar way, each issue of PARABOLA has its own focus: one of the timeless themes of human existence.


Today, I am a parabola, an elegant form, sailing outward and returning, enlarged, enriched, changed. 
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Eden -

I take Tiger and Bella out on the deck for about 20 minutes so they get some sunshine vitamin D and a chance to further explore.  It is like watching the beginning of the discovery of creation.  They note every touch of the wind,  each flight of a bee, each note of the birds, without any seeming knowledge of what it all might be.  Their attention span is short, and yet, they pause to rest, and peruse, and then, a nail pulled up from a board catches their eye, and they, explore every possibility of that, and then, back to rest.  They are so soft, warm, and fluffy, when I pick them up to center them back in the middle of the deck.  They sniff the plants, and move away.  They are probably okay for a few minutes on their own, but, instead, I watch them the whole time.  I feel myself caught up in my childhood exploration, drawn back, like a crayon, along the page of time.  
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evening -

Jane and I work a bit in this late afternoon on the book, Breast Stroke.  We work over the phone as is our usual way, since I am in Marin, and she, in the Oakland hills, of the East Bay.

We discover today how much I changed some days in mood, starting out so bright in the morning, and dimming through the day.

Yesterday, the models' luncheon was very hard on me, and I have been struggling to understand why I came home so tired and drained.  I believe that I have explained that for this book, Jane and I have gathered poems we wrote on certain days throughout my chemo,  and then, gone back through, at a later date, "translating" what we wrote, and writing how it feels to read those words now.   Well, we completed one go-through when I was on Nantucket, and now, we are again going back through to revise, and tighten or expand.

Jane wrote this today about March 16th.  I place it here for two reasons.  One is because I am so touched by her words, and I want to honor them.  The other is because I think now I am looking for that place she says I gave to her.  I am changed in one way by this experience, and, in another, so much of what I learned is still illusive for me.  I lived behind the veil for awhile.  Now, I am out, and I struggle to know and understand how life is for me now.   Who am I, and does it matter?   No wonder a gathering of so many women, and one man, many of whom are in the same search, left me feeling tired. 

I offer Jane's, as always, beautiful, profound, and kind words.  Her words bring tears to my eyes.  


Translation: Even during the living there is so much I cannot know. I trust that the world behind me and outside my window are still there even when I am not looking at them.  I believe that the sirens, bombs and rockets in places of trouble really do wail even though I don’t hear them. I try as best I can to hold those people in those places in my awareness. And for many months now, you have allowed me in to your life to witness how the awareness of the body’s tenuousness manifests in you. You have looked your life in the eye and recognized that it could leave you.

Through your sharing I, now,  can also imagine that there is a life and world without me, when this body has done all the work it can do. It is that body, that faceless face, that voiceless voice that you have given me the perspective to whisper to. This body of mine that I have so long taken for granted, this sacred donkey that carried me through life, it is this you I have loved the best for letting me witness time on earth. It’s time I told you.

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tenuousness -

One of the kitties has now had his third accident in the chair.  I plopped right into it tonight, so hopped into the shower, and while there, I think Jane's use of the word,  tenuousness, was with me.  I found myself remembering how it felt when I stood in the shower and my hair fell out in clumps in my hands.   Life, perhaps, did feel as tenuous as that falling hair.  I tug on my hair now.  It feels secure, and, yet, is it.  Is life?   The joy is in the fragility, of course, the course of the flow. 

I look on-line at dresses to wear to Jeff and Jan's wedding.  The springs colors are pinks, blues, whites, and ivories.  The winter ones are blacks, browns, and charcoal.  I hope I am not too late for brightness.   I want the birds to dance and frolic along the length of my trail.