January 14th, 2007

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Good Morning!!

I am awake early and floating in the joy of sensing.   I woke this morning and felt the area through my pelvis and the more I paid attention the more it seemed to "wake up," and the more my whole organism responded.   It was lovely to feel as though a kite was pulled through me with a long ribbony tail.  I felt like a caterpillar stretching out from the edge of a leaf for what is new and next. 

I was reminded of this poem by Rilke, of his belief that "God" needs us to awaken and create.   We create and then worship what we create.

I have a day of Rosen movement, three days, a mini-intensive.  You can imagine how thrilled I am to awaken this morning, knowing what lights my next three days.   The sky has one small band of pink.  I float there.  

This is my posting on my Yahoo sensing group today.



This morning in bed I was sensing through my pelvic area.  I felt area after area letting go, waking up.  I was reminded of how Lee has spoken of it, of one area letting go, and then, another.  It was a rippling effect and I feel looser now, more whole and connected, as I notice movement flowing through the whole of this organism.   I move my foot and feel response through my head. 


I was considering this idea that the organism is intelligent and knows what to do when our mind gets out of the way, and yet, seeing how the work of witnessing, observing, experimenting, and sensing,  wakes us up.


I am reminded of a poem by Rilke as translated by Joanna Macy and Anita Barrows in The Book of Hours..


            The hour is striking so close above me,

            so clear and sharp,

            that all my senses ring with it.

            I feel it now;  there’s a power in me

            to grasp and give shape to my world.


            I know that nothing has ever been real

            without my beholding it.

            All becoming has needed me.

            My looking ripens things

            and they come toward me, to meet and be met. 



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Keith Olbermann -

When I suggested you read the words of Keith Olbermann, I did just that.  I read them.  I did not watch the video.  Here is is.  It is more powerful this way. 


I had not wanted to see the hanging of Saddam Hussein and I realize it is important to see it.  It is essential we know with all of our senses what is going on, in our name.   To watch Joyeau Noel and then see this video is yet another boost toward speaking more loudly and clearly what we know and feel.  There is a way to live, where the people, each individual person says whether they want their life to be one of love and peace, or manipulation by government and power-mongers, the way of war.

Peace today, within and without.    We, the individuals, need to shut Bush and his lunacy and cruelty down.

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Protons at Play -

This is from the NY Times today.

Where Protons Will Play

Published: January 14, 2007

On seeing the Alps for the first time, Dorothy Parker is reputed to have said, “They’re beautiful, but they’re dumb.” Near the foot of Mont Blanc, the greatest of the Alpine peaks, another sizable object is taking shape, also quite beautiful in its way, yet not at all dumb. In fact, its pristine geometries may be instrumental in revealing what have hitherto been some of nature’s deepest secrets.

It is called the Large Hadron Collider, or L.H.C. for short. Its shell is a more or less circular tunnel, some 17 miles in circumference and buried several stories underground, that straddles the Franco-Swiss border. Within this tunnel, a sort of racetrack for protons is being created. (Protons are, of course, usually found in the nucleus of an atom; they are members of the “hadron” family of subatomic particles.) The L.H.C. is scheduled to be up and running by the end of this year. When it is, flocks of protons will be made to zip around the tunnel in opposite directions at nearly the speed of light. Then they will be forced to crash into each other, with (it is hoped) spectacular results for physics.

Physicists, you see, learn about the subatomic world by smashing things together and then looking at the debris. Imagine a midair collision between two watermelons; it would make quite a mess, but nothing very interesting would result. Suppose, though, you get two protons to collide head-on. If they are moving fast enough, the energy of their collision, converted into mass à la Einstein’s E=mc2, will produce a shower of new particles. (It would be as if colliding watermelons splattered into a shower of pineapples, blueberries, mangoes and more exotic fruits.) Some of these particles will already be familiar to physicists. Others, though never before observed, might well have been hypothesized by one of the speculative theories that physicists busy themselves devising, hence giving us reason to think that a theory in question is true. Still others might come as a complete surprise, eliciting an amazed cry of “Who ordered that?”

Although the Large Hadron Collider is a European project, a half-billion or so of the $8 billion price tag is being kicked in by the United States as an official “observer.” This might be seen as recompense for Congress’s decision to cut off funds for a supercollider in 1993, leaving only a partly excavated hole in the ground in Waxahachie, Tex. Among the community of 7,000 experimenters working at the L.H.C. — roughly half of the world’s particle physicists, coming from some 80 countries — the largest national contingent, numbering more than 700, will be American.

Physicists across the world are thrilled at the prospect of the Large Hadron Collider being turned on later this year, and not just because they look forward to skiing nearby in Chamonix. For the past generation, physics has been in something of a rut. There have been plenty of findings from smaller colliders, but the results have mostly been expected. To make further progress — to understand why the basic forces of nature have such wildly varying strengths, or why elementary particles have the seemingly arbitrary masses they do, or how all these forces and particles fit together in a single mathematical framework — data from higher realms of energy are needed. The L.H.C. should take physicists to those realms.

And what will they find there? At the very least, the violent proton collisions in the shadow of the Alps are expected to conjure into existence the all-important Higgs boson, a key to understanding not only the masses of the known elementary particles but also the early history of the universe. (Some pessimists fear that this is the only discovery the L.H.C. will result in. If so — pas mal.) Then there are more exotic possibilities: quantum black holes (sound dangerous, evaporate quickly); “dark matter” particles; Kaluza-Klein particles that flit off into higher dimensions; particles like the gluino, the squark, the slepton and the wino (pronounced WE-no) — which, though silly-sounding, could furnish badly needed evidence that there might be something to string theory. Beyond all that, there is the exciting chance that something utterly undreamed of will be found — a not-uncommon occurrence when physicists ascend to new levels of energy.

Energy and beauty are deeply linked in contemporary physics. At the highest energies, like those immediately after the Big Bang, perfect symmetry prevails, and all the forces of nature merge into one. As the universe cooled down, this symmetry was broken in various ways, so the world we see around us is, as the Nobel laureate physicist Steven Weinberg has put it, “only an imperfect reflection of a deeper and more beautiful reality.” By reaching back toward the primordial energy, the L.H.C. promises to move us a little closer to that reality. This promise is bodied forth in the rounded, symmetrical forms of the collider itself — next to which the Alps, for all their grandeur, look just a bit slovenly.

Jim Holt, a regular contributor, writes frequently about science.


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Public and Private -

I have been considering this subject of the public and private in a person, my person,  and trying to understand it as I weave through this blog.  When I was in treatment, I was a completely public person.   Now, I allow myself some privacy in what I share.  Why is there a difference?   I look for clues.  

The following is a conversation from the book Waking Up,  a book about Charlotte Selver, the leader of Sensory Awareness.

    Student:  All the time you've been talking I was thinking that, in times of crisis, it seems so easy to have the inside and the outside working right close together.  Is that because we forget ourselves?

    Charlotte:  Yes.  We are more heightened.

    Student:  And then there's no choice.  We just act.

    Charlotte:  Then there's no question.  I do believe that when things really become urgent - suppose this house is burning - it hits through to your very core.  When anything hits us through to the very core, there is no person anymore.

                Now, I contemplate these words from the article on physics and protons.

Energy and beauty are deeply linked in contemporary physics. At the highest energies, like those immediately after the Big Bang, perfect symmetry prevails, and all the forces of nature merge into one. As the universe cooled down, this symmetry was broken in various ways, so the world we see around us is, as the Nobel laureate physicist Steven Weinberg has put it, “only an imperfect reflection of a deeper and more beautiful reality.”

I wonder if crisis takes us back to the primordial energy, that perfect symmetry.  No wonder I have missed that aspect of the illness and treatment process, and now I reach through movement and sensing to integrate again.   I feel my struggle lay to rest, and that is this moment, and who knows what response will bring in the next moment, and the next.   

For now, I wish each cell in each of us a fully responding and responsive day!!

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What I learned today -

I learned that if I speak my fear, truly feel it and speak, it flows on through and I am inspired with an incredibly calm and strong energy.  What a gift!!

Marion Rosen came today.  She is 93 and still driving and a vision to watch move.  She is my inspiration as to what can be if I stay open, involved, and aware.

I am exhausted tonight, the good kind, and will soon tumble into bed to sleep quite well.   Sweet dreams to all!!