I wake, feeling well. My stomach is still fragile, and I will be gentle in what I offer to it today, but, for the most part I am enthusiastically awake.
I went to the grocery store yesterday that I had the most trouble with when I was in chemo, Paradise Market. They offer a great deal of prepared foods which was helpful then, but I still gag a bit when I enter the deli section of the store. I think I carried that feeling home yesterday. I was unable to eat. I curiously note how my body remembers the time of year. I suppose I could use some bodywork around the tenderness of the stomach lining. Today, I want to spread pillows in my stomach, offer gentle yogurt drinks, and soothe.
I finished the memoir by Julia Cameron and started in on her new book. There is no question that the Morning Pages have worked for her. She is amazingly prolific. I sit with that, with her need, desire, and fulfillment in producing. Creativity flowed through her, spoke. I wonder sometimes why I am so content. I would "produce" more I suppose if I were driven, but the world seems so abundant already. I suppose my purpose here may be to appreciate, and that is certainly more than enough for me. Somebody has to do it and that somebody may be me.
Happy three day weekend to all, or at least, those who have a three day weekend. This is the first year that Steve and his partner have decided to honor the day so I am excited about that, about a day to honor a man who spoke so eloquently for needed change and peace.
Martin Luther King - my model for the day.
I am delight. The clothes are drying on the deck. I have been cleaning up after the storm, so sweeping, raking, pruning. I see there is a few day's work here for sure just to get things back to normal, nothing extra, and I love doing it. I love moving my arms and lifting the weight of the leaves, and carrying branches, and trimming little stems.
I found a new sitting rock in the lower part of my yard. Periodically, they appear and so I sat on my new friend. I also found a new little fern. The maples are starting to bulge, and the sun definitely pulls me out and into the air. The doors are open, and all is fresh, and I know it's not over yet, but, for today. Ahhhhh!!
Norman Fischer has an article in Shambhala Sun called "Phrases and Spaces."
I take one paragraph from a fascinating article on Zen Koans. Koans work on us, rather than us on them.
"To be willing to enter into the silence that surrounds and pervades all phrases (those made of words and not made of words) is to be willing to die - to die to knowledge, control, desire. To know and embrace death, is to be willing to die to every moment - that is what it takes to actually live. This is why people want to go rock climbing or jump out of airplanes, or go to war. In spiritual practice, we are trying to live with full passion without doing all these risky things. Being alive is risky enough, and also completely safe."
It is January after all so when the sun drops below the hill, it is cold. I make some hot chocolate and settle into a chair with the Wall Street Journal. There, I learn in a shocking expose by Christopher Rhoads that the Hydrox cookie is no more. I am one of those who always chose Hydrox over Oreos. There was no comparison in my book and it seems I am not alone. Unfortunately, the Hydrox cookie is gone. Kellogg Co, killed them off in 2003. It shows the last time I've cruised the cookie aisle. I usually pass quickly along with my head turned the other way.
Charles Clark, says eating Hydrox was "a badge of honor." He says"Hydrox eaters tend to be independent thinkers, favor underdogs and be skeptical of marketing." He says that even with Hydrox gone, Hydrox lovers will stay loyal. They won't switch sides.
It turns out Hydrox cookies were kosher. Oreos contain lard. Hydrox were less sweet, crispier. I remember that they had just the right amount of white cream. It was perfect to separate the cookie and scrape off with your teeth.
This year is the 100th anniversary of the Hydrox cookie. If you need your fix, there are some who consider these cookies the closest: Famous Amos, Tuxedos, Twisto's and the Paul Newman version called Newman-O's.
Of course, the healthy thing to do is not eat cookies at all, and I can still taste them in my elementary school lunch. Hydrox cookies rule. Oreos will never take their place.