October 20th, 2009

alan - morning glory center

Morning Thoughts -

It takes a long time for the morning light this time of year.   Daylight Savings Time should be gone. 

A good friend is posting on Caring Bridge about the last days of her grandmother's life. 

She says the Tibetan Buddhists believe the mind/spirit may not know what is happening so it is important to be peaceful, supportive, nourishing, a guide, and for three days after a person dies, to wish them well on their transition, to let them go, to not hang on, but to let them depart gently and graciously. 

I woke from odd dreams this morning.  Again, I was with the death of my father, the impact.  He died in an accident.  We certainly didn't know anything about not hanging on in those days, 1969.  In some ways I think my mother's death, 36 years later, may have allowed him a more complete departure.

How do we let another go?  My younger son leaves for Europe tomorrow.  I feel agitated for no reason that I understand.  Why is it so hard to let another go?

I stayed in bed this morning trying to understand the fear.  There is us, whatever that is, and there is all those we love.  I feel, in this moment, like a flower, wanting to hold all my petals close and bound tightly, and yet, it is autumn, fall, and I have worked so hard to learn to not resist and so here I am this beautiful fall morning in a push-pull which as I type this seems ridiculously funny.  Ah, it is best to speak, breathe, and release.

My petals fall with gentle, slow rhythm, to a blessed earth we all share.  There is no worry there, and now I think of this word "care."  We speak of cares as difficulties, and we speak of caring for another.  How odd this double meaning, and yet, sometimes there is pain in the caring, the fear of loss, and yet, there is no loss.  Again, I reach to be so clear, there is no loss, only opening without fear.

Book Cover

(no subject)

This excerpt is from Persimmontree, an online magazine devoted to women writers over sixty.

An excerpt from:

The Measure of My Days


Florida Scott-Maxwell

Death feels a friend because it will release us from the deterioration of which we cannot see the end. These thoughts are with us always, and in our hearts we know ignominy as well as dignity. We are people to whom something important is about to happen ...

But we also find that as we age we are more alive than seems likely, convenient, or even bearable. Too often our problem is the fervour of life within us. My dear fellow octogenarians, how are we to carry so much life and what are we to do with it?

When truly old, too frail to use the vigour that pulses in us, and weary, sometimes even scornful of what can seem the pointless activity of mankind, we may sink down to some deeper level and find a new supply of life that amazes us.

All is uncharted and uncertain, we seem to lead the way into the unknown. It can feel as though all our lives we have been caught in absurdly small personalities and circumstances and belief. Our accustomed shell cracks here, cracks there, and that tiresomely rigid person we supposed to be ourselves stretches, expands, and with all inhibitions gone we realize that age is not failure, nor disgrace ... Here we come to a new place of which I knew nothing ...a larger place still, the place of release.

Florida Scott-Maxwell was a playwright, author and psychologist. She was born in Orange Park, Florida, grew up in Pittsburgh, then moved to New York at age 15 to become an actress. In 1910 she married and moved to her husband's native Scotland, where she worked for women's suffrage and as a playwright. The couple divorced in 1929 and she moved to London. In the 1930s, she studied Jungian psychology under Carl Jung. She died in Exeter, England. Her most famous book is The Measure of My Days (1968).

Alexander Calder's Kitchen!

every bite we eat -

I think we are becoming more aware of the cost of our food. I note where something comes from before I buy it. Do I really need fruit from Chile or New Zealand?

Alan reminds me that Michael Pollan is speaking at Bioneers this year. His talk and demonstration are a reminder to consider in oil the cost of our food.

Remember that: "We have shifted from a food economy that yielded two calories of food for every one calorie of fossil fuel we burned to grow, harvest, process and distribute the food, to a food economy that yields one calorie of food for every ten calories of fossil fuel we put into obtaining it."