February 18th, 2010

alan - winter bird

Good Morning!



I think of the connotation of retreat, of surrender, and yes, a retreat like I am taking is a surrender to something larger. I seemed unable to stop the barrage of thought, ego thought, to allow the higher consciousness to enter with its comfort and trust.  Here, the word trust is my mantra.  The tide is out and there is absolute silence, no sound of water, wind, or birds. Yesterday the water was lapping under the deck.  Here, change is so clear.  The tide comes in; the tide goes out.  I ask myself this morning how such a huge mass of water can be silent.  

Can I then silence the barrage that sometimes fills my mind.  Do this; do that, until I am stopped unable to do anything at all.. 

I came here to welcome non-thought.  I am looking at each decade of my life, six of them now.  What is the common thread?  What do I intend for the next two or three?

The theme of each decade is nature and spirituality.  I remember trees that have been my friends, the people I love.  Nothing else seems to matter.  I even forgot I had cancer.  It is irrelevant to me.  What matters is those I love, what I love, that I love, and now the fog lifts enough I see shapes on the water, birds that duck.  Ah, ducks.  Quack, quack, quack, fills the air.  And yet, those in the water are silent, separate, each rallying their own joy in why they are here, an opportunity to pulse with life and the divine, which for me is oneness.  We are One, simple as that.

I did walk into the water for Papananook.  This is not swimming water this time of year. It is cold, brings a message of the depths.  I was alone at Pierce Point, clear at first, then, fog.  Ah, I look up and there are more birds floating and now they gather together.  They have their moment alone and now they are a group and now they all dunk under at the same time. 

Does someone watch us as I watch the ducks?  Do they smile at the dance?   Up and down go the ducks, and we, too, dip and rise, and float and fly.  We, too, swim separately and together.  We, too, commune alone and in groups.  We, too.

It is feeding time as the tide flows back in.

free ride

All sorts of birds -



Now that it is more light I see that there are also coots and there is a grebe.   They are there and then they are not.  Part of it is the fog but they do not stay in one place.  They roam around like our ancestors.  They carry stillness within.  All are dipped right now, and then, up they pop. It is like watching seals at play.  Up.  Down.  Float Around!!   Enjoy your day!