March 25th, 2011

alan's flowers

Flowers -

I know some of you are still in snow but who could not smile at this quote:

Earth laughs in flowers.

   - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I enjoyed a reading by Jane Hirshfield last night at the Mill Valley library.  The request was that she read poems from our area and so she read about Mill Valley and foxes and raccoons and rain, because that is what we've enjoyed lately - rain.

oregon, willamette, 1 proxy falls



We live on 1/3rd of an acre in an area called Little City Farms. There is a rustic air which we enjoy.   For many years, we've had a bench in one corner of our yard.  I call it a Healing Bench because it is a lovely place to sit when one is down.  It looks out across the valley and has its own private spot.

Today I returned home and the bench was gone.  

I am surprised at the anger I feel, and I realize if I had a gun and I had seen someone dragging my bench up the hill and into their truck, I might have been tempted to shoot them.  We are territorial beings, and I could have felt I had the right to shoot someone over a bench.  As my son said, it is a Healing Bench, and maybe someone needs healing more than I,  and yet the anger that arises allows me to feel I have a long way to go toward equanimity and I'm glad I don't have a gun.

alan - morning glory center

Peace -

 It is true that it was just a bench, and it was a gift and today was a rough day for various reasons.

Feel no fear.  I haven't turned to the dark side and will never own a gun and can bless the bench and those who needed it wherever it is.

Many years ago my son and I did a great deal of work in that part of the yard to make the bench feel welcome.  We brought in rocks and planted and created a special place.   It sat in the area where we took out five trees recently and so it has been a place of transition.  I see now even more transition was required.

It is a good lesson.   When I feel my anger, I see why we have wars.  This was trivial in any scheme of things and yet I felt violated and wanted retaliation, and again, that is how we end up with a violent planet. I need to settle my wars within,  and each time I do I give thanks, and tonight I request a little quicker return to equilibrium.  Actually my preference would be to stay in equanimity all the time, and again I am humbled in seeing how quickly I can jump to some need of superiority and revenge.