April 21st, 2011

Alan - pansy -



I know I cannot paint a flower. I cannot paint the sun on the desert on a bright summer morning, but maybe in terms of paint color I can convey to you my experience of the flower or the experience that makes the flower of significance to me at that particular time.

- Georgia O'Keeffe

I continue to go to Toastmasters on Wednesday night appreciating the intimacy of what we share, the attempt to do exactly what Georgia O'Keefe is saying, to share our experience of something, our experience.   Sometimes a speech is on a topic I would choose but the response and presentation are completely different.  In the evaluations, I learn how another is affected, what they notice.  

Each of us wants to find ways to give our experience of how it is to live life here.   That is why we write, share photos, talk, point, paint.

Yesterday I enjoyed some intense eye tests.  My eyes are fine, but the ophthalmologist said my optic nerve is "different".   I've been sitting with that.  My optic nerve works fine but it is different, unique.  I suppose each optic nerve has its own way of being but I am intrigued with mine today, aware of the eye socket, eye ball and the workings inside.  I am grateful I can see.

At the Sensory Awareness retreat, I spent some time with a man who has been blind since he was eight.   He had cancer and the radiation treatment was too intense and burned his optic nerve.  He wants to work with blind people, to help them sense.  You are probably saying, as we who were listening did, aren't blind people extra sensitive?   Don't they hear more than we do, integrate touch more intimately?

He said the blind people he has met are oriented outward.  They want to fit in and operate in the external world, so yes, they are sensitive outwardly, but not necessarily inwardly.  They may not be in touch with what is going on within.  His mission is to teach them to become more aware of their workings inside.    

I set intention today to notice what's happening inside.  Can I share my unique way of interpreting and being in the world?

We'll see.