September 16th, 2011

Alan - sunrise - Palm Springs area


I took Chris and Frieda to the airport last night.  They flew through the night to NY and now are on their way to London.  Their luggage filled the car, so her brother and two year old nephew also came to the airport but in a different car.   Frieda cried.  I put up a good front and now the tears come.  I know this is wonderful that they have a year in London together, and we are all both happy and sad.   Happy and sad at the same time - tears so precious - I suppose each drop is elixir.  I think of the fairy tales now.  What might one do with tears released with such love, such tenderness that feels like pain, such care?

A good friend is back from taking her daughter to college on the East coast.  She says the parting feels "unnatural".  Yes, I don't know where to put it.  I am happy for them, and I feel sad.  I cannot speak.   

They left a little wind chime I had given them.  It got broken in the move, they said, but it doesn't look broken to me.  I hung it in the entry way this morning.  There is no broken, only different ways to move the wind with sound.

I also have their two little redwood trees, twined in one pot.  They are from their wedding.  They were married in the redwoods.  Part of me knows what we shared in this last week was more precious than anything we could have created without the knowing they were departing.  I have been through their photos, helped them choose those that go to London with them, in their frames, and which ones were removed from frames to go flat.  I helped them choose what is shipped and what is stored and what is given away.    

Choices, and yet what is so very clear is that what matters the very most in life are these precious bundles of love that may appear separate at times, but are so clearly, one heart.  

My heart is torn in two today, and it is Knot!