June 22nd, 2015

Bob's bird in flight

Awareness -

We don’t do awareness; awareness is what we are. When we stop doing everything else, our experience is of being awareness. In that “being” there is no attention on egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate, and we get to have an experience of Life without the interference of ego-identity maintenance. When that happens we know what we’re going for, and we know that any conversation with the voices of ego no longer holds any charm for us!
- Cheri Huber

I sit quietly with those words this morning.  Yesterday I attended a meditation offered by a friend.  She invited me to talk to the group about sensory awareness.  I spoke of noticing, moment to moment: How do we meet the bed when we wake?  Where is our attention when we brush our teeth?  What do we feel between our ears, in our feet?

One woman responded that what she thinks about when she wakes is how she hates to get up.  She said she "zones out" as she brushes her teeth and does her morning rituals.  They are something to get "done"; she is not noticing and is not curious as she makes her way.


Perhaps it is age that allows me to handle time differently.  She is young.  Her words open me to notice even more clearly how I curl and uncurl in response.

Saturday I slipped on water that had spilled unnoticed by me on the kitchen floor.  My feet came right out from under me, and instinct led me to grab the top rack of the open dishwasher which broke the rack and broke my fall. Interesting the use of the word "broke" here, as the rack needs a new part, and because of its presence, my parts are intact.   I was grateful I didn't land on my sacrum.  Even so, I was shaken up.  So quickly, a shift.

I think of our teachers, how we reverence those who meet what comes by bringing forth their inner support of grace.  I think of Charleston, the response of the families of those who have passed.

I continue to ruminate on the book The Bridge of San Luis Rey, a book I re-read periodically because of its impact on me.  Why did this group of people pass on together?

I think of the Amish and the loss of their school children and their response.

Today I pause to inspire on those who forgive, who forgive in the midst of tragedy.  They offer a chalice of light from which we drink.

This article speaks about the abandonment of reason in this country, about the rise, and therefore, manipulation of ignorance.  May this tragedy, along with the others, bring us together for change that unites.  May we "be" the awareness we are.

alan's beach photo

Healing Touch

My daughter-in-law Frieda K. Edgette posted this on Facebook today.  I am touched, deeply touched.  I share her words with you.  She posted her words with a photo of two hands, one black, one white, touching in prayer.


I cried last week. I cried a lot - more than in recent memory. I fought it off at first. Subconsciously, I did not want to connect with the pain (and hope and resilience) I witness around me and witness within. I fought it off because I did not know. I fought it off because I am both powerless and empowered to impact change within grossly large social challenges. Craziness, I tell you, and also honoring the intensity of our reality.

Lao Tzu wrote: "A journey of one thousand miles begins with one step." Awareness is a step. Acceptance is a step. Action is a step.

I am aware my inability to cry was a suppression of pain and a suppression of belief. I am aware it was an unwillingness to engage with raw feeling because - good and bad, positive and negative, disappointed and hopeful - it is hard: Charleston, lost souls in our communities, intolerance in the media, violence of all kinds, gossip, an unwillingness to help; and also powerful stories, courageous acts, humble service and exposed vulnerability…

“We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope” are the words of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. ‪#‎YES‬ Ready, from disappointment into hope: I cried.

I cry because I know that, for me, crying provides a release in one of the healthiest ways. It allows me to be present and of service to others. It empowers. It connects. It clarifies. It witnesses. It honors. I cry because I am not a machine. As MLK said, "We are not machines." It is when we act like machines and mute our common humanity, we get lost. We lose.

We are people - and people are people are people, people. We, people, are able to make this life free and generative. We, people, can access solutions when/if we have the courage to be aware, accepting and willing to act. We, people - all people - have the power. "Let us use this power and unite" to heal - and heal, one engagement at a time.

All I can do is be the best person I can be. All I can do is be rigorously honest with myself and others, to be of service, to empathize, to smile at strangers, to be willing and open to have crucial conversations, to cry, to laugh, to forgive and ask for forgiveness, to celebrate, to hold safe space, to hug, to speak up, to share, to step back when not desired, to respect, to dance, to be compassionate, to ask the questions, mindfully respond and mutually receive:

What do I need?
What do you need?
What do we need?
What am I willing to do?
What are you willing to do?
What can we do?
How can we be?

I am open.
I am listening.
I am willing.
How about you?

I choose awareness.
I choose acceptance.
I choose action.
I choose healing.