July 22nd, 2015

Bald Eagle

Gathering -

This morning as I meditate, thoughts run through, and today I am with the coffee bar at Tassajara.  It's outside in the gathering area.  There, an array of teas in glass containers, and two huge containers of coffee, one caffeinated, and one not, are always available.  I find comfort in that, in this fragrant, nourishing, and energizing, or calming, form of awareness, nurturing, and offering.  When I was staying there, after morning shower, plunge, meditation, and some reading, I walked to the coffee area, chose my cup, a filter, usually red, opened the coffee container, inhaled the smell, dipped the scoop, and added a scoop of manna to my filter.  Then, I watched the hot water pour over the coffee and drip. I walked a few steps to the cooler which stood on a stand overlooking the creek.  I lifted the lid to see an array of soy milk, half and half, low-fat, and whole milk.  Inhale.  Exhale. Coffee, creek, milk, and maybe people to talk to, or not.  What is needed now?  Each morning different with a ritual of bells, drums, coffee, and air moving in and out.

Now I am home.  I haven't yet had my morning coffee.  I'm not sure I need it.  I am full on memory as though I ingested Tassajara and it fills my stomach and heart.  I feel a difference in my walk, in my need for intake, in my need for touch.  I am sitting on a cushion.  I had to readjust my chair when I returned.  I moved it lower to the ground.  Why was I perched like a hawk?  Now, I squat a bit open to the energy beneath me as well as above.  My yurt had a little deck cradled under trees and tucked up next to the mountain.  The jays saw it as their space and were clear on that, but as they became used to me, I would see them squat on the ground, feathers spread.  I sit like that now, adjusting my feathers, aware of opening the crown of my head.


In sensory awareness, we do a lot of tapping, tapping ourselves awake.  We may tap ourselves or another.  Either way is pleasurable when the tapping is mindful and present.  Lee did something different this time, at least new to me.  She had us pause at times during tapping.   Pause.  When I was leaning over being tapped on my back and the pause came, I could feel reverberations all through me.  I could absorb.  The tides come in and the tides go out for a reason.  Well, yes, there is the moon, but also, there is a living response to stimulation.  We respond to change, and sometimes in the pause, our own response is the gift, the acknowledging we live.