Heart Happy (cathy_edgett) wrote,
Heart Happy

Mother -

I woke this morning, missing my mother, missing her deeply.   Last night I bought Southern Butter Pecan ice cream.  I rarely buy ice cream, and certainly not Butter Pecan.  That was my mother's favorite.  I like chocolate.

And then I saw a photo of a cardinal.  When my mother died, I sat in her apartment looking out as a cardinal looked in. I have a metal cardinal on my front gate.  Cardinals bring her to me.

I wondered what triggered such a response, and then, I thought about the baby shower.  Talk came to mothers, our mothers.  I appreciated mine more and more as I heard others speak of theirs.

I feel my mother here today, and, of course, I am 50% her, carrying her forth, and so perhaps the tears are those of joy.   What I know is they come from someplace deep.  There is an ache in that cavernous space, a cracking open, a seismic change.

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