I feel this as a tender time, very tender, as though my womb is birthing new soil. Tears are close.
My niece goes to college at Wheaton in MA, so last night I asked her how it was going with the Boston Red Sox win. She said the college had added extra security because of Halloween and the World Series coinciding. There was whooping and screaming outside, but she was quietly within working on a report. Her roommate is from St. Louis, and my niece is a "Yanks" fan so maybe that had something to do with it.
I don't dress up for Halloween these days. Something changed for me after I went through chemotherapy. I couldn't seem to "dress up", somehow felt a bare head for six months was as much as I could tolerate as to changed physical identity, but, oddly, this week, Steve ordered a package, and included, by mistake or in an attempt to advertise, was a nurse's hat, with a white cross encased in red. I thought about the Red Cross, and looked up the white cross. Well, it could represent the Swiss flag, or Swatch, a watch company, or who knows what. I was grammarian at Toastmasters last night, and I decided I was meant to wear the hat, to be a nurse, to be the "nurse and healer of grammar". Photos were taken, and I look good in a nurse's hat. It was fun to "be" a nurse for a night.
I also woke today feeling a re-commitment to the club. I completed the first level, Competent Communication, and felt complete, so took a year break. I could now give speeches at a higher level, or start over again, with the first speech, the Ice-Breaker. That feels right. This is a time of beginnings. How do I introduce myself now? I felt my sense of humor return when I wore the nurse's hat. The veil is thin between the living and the dead, between the present and what brought us here, between our deeds and knowing now, and our ancestors. Do they guide us? Is their presence gentle? Yes.
I've been thinking about water. Riding the ferry, water seemed so soft as we drove through the waves of the bay, and yet, I thought of those who jump, in despair, off the Golden Gate Bridge. Some survive, but, for others, it is a hard, ending surface they hit.
Thinking about my Ice-breaker speech has me thinking about ice. It's cold outside. Here, bird baths will freeze on certain nights, and then, melt. I need to notice the temperatures, and be aware of pipes.
Albert Einstein said: "Wisdom is not a product of schooling, but of the lifelong attempt to acquire it."
May the acquisition of wisdom melt and spread as newness begins in this beautiful, guiding autumn light.
Happy Halloween and Blessings of Change, water flowing through pipes, and Light!