Joy and Happiness to All!
love, cathy
the power of positive thinking
I was raised with that
mind over matter
and this morning I sit here
wanting to cry
I feel nauseated
so I drink some protein drink
hoping to keep it down
I’m trying to avoid the
anti-nausea drugs
and deal with this as much as
possible
on my own
and what is this own -
I go in yesterday for a shot to
boost
my immune system -
I think that means energy
though they tell me pain in my
lower back
and they are right,
I am so tired -
I eat and it tastes good
yesterday,
and then there is Jon Stewart,
and I seem unable to laugh,
and I slip into some odd
sleep-non-sleep,
where am I - who -
I wake dizzy, sick, nauseated,
and tired -
I look out and try and imagine
what I am in nature -
what is so depleted and still
lives -
the salmon at the end of the run
perhaps,
turning white as it lies on the
side of the bank,
at Muir Woods,
eaten soon, pecked - exposed to
sun,
and is that chemo,
radiation from within -
I feel myself burning up from
within -
is this the place
where I reside in change
just lie there like the salmon,
exposed,
and where is will right now -
I want to walk - to step -
and I want to fall right back
into rest,
and awake another me -
my eyes close,
I am the salmon after the run,
asleep -
knowing I wake in other ways
and content for now
to not know
what they may be -
I vomit what’s been inside,
now free -
my nose like a bunny wiggles,
trying to reach for a scent,
it understands in this world,
so unknown and unbrewed,
so untested yet in me -
I reach with a paw to understand
and sit in my hole nibbling
a blade of grass
that begins my climb
to greet the sun today.
I am bunny.
I shake my ears.
I play,
and sleep.
