I continue to be in pain with my feet. I am interpreting the pain as healing as it moves around, tenderizing and nurturing all the parts that hurt. I'll see the doctor tomorrow to examine how I'm doing. What I see though is how tender I am with all I meet. Tears come easily, tears of gratitude, happiness, and joy, and yes, sometimes I'm frustrated and grumpy but there is something about recognizing my own tenderness and vulnerability that brightens, tenderizes and strengthens the days. People want to help, more help than I can receive right now. I fill easily, overflow and simply need to rest and be. It is spring, the greening time of year, and I lie down to rest, renew, and recover. My only purpose right now is to receive.
I had the image of a totem pole this morning. What totem pole might each of us build or imagine to express who we are, and have been? How high does our pole reach? How deeply does it anchor and root in the ground?
Perhaps it could be called a "blessing pole", proclaiming to the world the flag we each wave, the movement of air in our veins. There is so much dissent right now, so much anger. When one is in pain as I am, it seems the only way is to allow it all to blow through. I can only hold the pole of my own knowing, my own flag, and that pole knows the bend of the vault, and through that I pierce and fly as eyes and cells moisten the creation of rainbows in light.