Oddly, the beauty and love we shared this Christmas is the greatest gift of all. Family mobilized and all bases were covered, as Jeff still needed someone with him and Jan needed to be with her family on Christmas day.
Will this be our greatest Christmas ever? Perhaps. We are all alive, healthy, breathing, grateful, close, embracing, embraced, and touched. Those who staff a hospital at Christmas are beyond amazing. Nurse Alan worked 12 hour shifts five days in a row so people could be with their families. Two guards were there for a prisoner from San Quentin. It was agreed the shackles would be removed so he could have a shower on Christmas day.
This morning a little boy ran into the hospital screaming "I want my mommy." Tears come even now as it was so clear there was nothing any of us could do to comfort this little boy being. His father was running to keep up. I know two babies were born yesterday while Steve was in surgery because they play a lullaby through the hospital speaker system when a baby is born. I hope that is why this little boy's mother was in the hospital. They didn't come to our floor but his screams resounded through the halls and elevator doors. I am so touched by this little boy and his pain as he so clearly missed, wanted and needed his mother. There is no way to explain to a child and maybe we are all children and want to scream but we are trained to restrain. I know this little boy brought tears to all of us who were there and he continues to bring tears to me now.
I wonder if I could have been anywhere else where so much was happening, so much that matters, so much that strokes the very core, and perhaps especially at Christmas when there is a pause and one notices that carols fill the hospital air.
At one point, there were so many emergencies that Steve was "parked" in the hall as we waited for a room. We joked that there was no room at the inn, and somehow amidst it all, each person felt holy and lit as though we were bound in the fire and light of one supernova star we shared for a time.
Beautiful bonding - beautiful sharing - Marin General Hospital is along an inlet of the bay and the tidal water is filled with birds. I sat with ducks this morning, egrets, coots, and gulls. Steve is home and I am grateful. He'll have surgery next week, a simple procedure and in this moment, and perhaps all moments, all is right with the world. The sun is shining and the cats and I are grateful to have Steve home. The best Christmas ever - yes I think so. My heart is wide and gratitude swells deep.