I did feel scared again today, as this was the first real radiation day, and the set-up is so precise, and the breathing so important, but I did "great," and held my breath the whole 36 seconds, and it was only four times, two in one place, and two in another. The whole thing took about 30 minutes.
When I went into the dressing room to change back into my clothes, Shelley, also in a wool cap, introduced herself. She just had the four times of AC as she was so sick from that she couldn't stand doing the Taxol, and because the cancer wasn't in her lymph, it only gave her a 2% increased chance anyway. So, she told me about the support group which she says is great fun, and they don't allow any whiners. She introduced me to Diane, and so, I am now signed up to do the horses. It is eight Fridays, and starts next Friday, and sounds wonderful. It seems my pattern is common, no energy for anything until chemo finishes, and then, in feeling a little better, needing a little more support, so, there, they are. Also, I can do the horses anytime, so if it is too much right now, I can sign up whenever I want. That feels good to know. I thought I had missed my chance.
It feels like quite a synchronous day. I am delighted to feel better, and also, to have support in knowing that there is still a long, long way to go. Diane has been through this too. All three of us had Allison, Jenn, and Francine, and think they are great, so we are united in our medical team. So, that's the news. 1 radiation down, and possibly only 32 to go. I learned today that they do so many on the whole area, and then, they zero in on the scar area, so 33 isn't a total given. It may be more. I am hoping 33 is enough for me. Only 32 to go is my mantra for the weekend. Yay!!
Oh, and Shelley is four weeks out of chemo, and she has some hair too, enough to touch, and it is very soft.
Also, a clothing catalog came today, and it features a "mature" model with short, white hair. She looks lovely. I am happy to see that. I think it is time to change our ideas on beauty. We all are beautiful!! Yay!!