Heart Happy (cathy_edgett) wrote,
Heart Happy
cathy_edgett

more thoughts -

As I try and warm up in my freezing cold house, I consider my day so far. I left here at 7:30 and got to South Eliseo in time to walk, and see and hear children riding their bikes to school. They were exuberant to be out on their own after months of rain. I read the opposing opinions in the Chronicle and decided to let all political thought go. Then, I saw the headline warning about the Big Quake that is supposedly going to happen any moment. Why would I worry about that? The letters in the paper were huge and bold, as though we should all be practicing our leaps from one side of the gaping earth to the other. Is there no other world news?

Last night, I began reading Shana Alexander's book on the kidnapping and trial of Patty Hearst, "Anyone's Daughter." Shana writes of the disruption of the times, and the children from Vietnam who were adopted by American parents who believed they were rescuing Vietnamese children. In contrast, many of the Vietnamese parents believed their children had been kidnapped.

Shana Alexander says that in April 1975, many American children were running away from home. That is when Operation Baby Lift began. "Leaving Vietnam at long last, we took with us as many children as we could. We filled the skies with "war orphans," tiny peace symbols born aloft in a final paroxysm of war guilt, sentimentality, and bad judgment. They were ferried out by the same pilots on the same planes that had flown in the bombs that had made them orphans in the first place, and then they were adopted by American families. Except, of course, that they were not all orphans."

We want to help, and the way is not often clear. We bombed Vietnam, and, then, "rescued" some children. When I traveled in Nepal, my friend wanted to bring back a wonderful young man to study here. Then, we realized he felt sorry for us, and he would be miserable without his village, his community. He belonged there, connected. He saw us as solitary and alone. How could we travel without our families? Our idea of independence was unfathomable to him.

I read that one of the reasons the crime rate is going down in this country is the number of immigrants. The Hispanic people tend to be more connected to their families, and the result is less crime.

Chris is reading a book on the years of political maneuveuring by this country. I think it is time to shine a light on our shadow, the shadow of the United States. We are the country that dropped atomic bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. We have interfered in country after country. Maybe it is time to end the division within this country between those who see it as lily white, and those who see it as no good. I would like to see some positive banner headlines, headlines of what love can do, a positive slant of what each one of us can do with each breath, and a smile. Maybe then, there will be less fear.

So, with that, I find myself wanting to go within and nibble there, and then, come out, and nibble here. Nibbling seems right to me for now, taking in a little bit at a time. I am in bunny mode, my nose sniffing cheerfully about. I do not understand this current, created world of fear.

I consider my life, the blessings. I feel I have been traveling in a circle. I pause and nibble along the way. The enclosure of my circle, the boundary in and out, is so precious to me now, so lively, and alive. I have fulfilled my dreams, and I'm sure there are a few more pictures to put up on the wall, a few more steps to make, but I feel fulfilled, the circle complete, and maybe like the rings of trees, we just keep adding circles, adding to our bark, until our space is a little more ours, our roots more connected, and our tops on the way to the stars.
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