Heart Happy (cathy_edgett) wrote,
Heart Happy

Stimulation -

I sit outside and eat my breakfast on the front deck. Breakfast has a bit fallen by the way-side in my rush to get up there each day, so is a bit late today. As I sit outside, I feel how over-stimulated my nervous system feels. Driving over today, a truck pulled right in front of me because an SUV pulled out in front of him. I slammed on my brakes, as he honked away at the woman in the SUV. She was completely oblivious. I don't think she even realized what she did, even with his beeping horn, and slamming about. He was angry, and I guess I was too. The world seems a crazy place.

Sitting outside, the craziness of all this came back to me. I continue to read reports and studies on every side of what I am doing. I don't know that Arimidex is the right thing, and yet, there is no discussion of it at Marin Cancer Care. To them, it is a no-brainer. They are clear. I feel caught in something I don't understand. As I sit outside, I see weeds have popped up in these few days of sunlight. I reach and pull, stand, bend, and pull, moving around like a grazing cow. Mostly the weeds come right up from the damp soil. A few take an extra tug. I remember looking at the weeds when I was in chemo. I had no energy to pull them. Now, I do.

I also note that hair comes in from the top of the body down. Today is the first day I see the beginnings of a soft fuzz of pubic hair. I still don't have to shave my legs, though the hair on my head is filling in nicely. I am pleased.

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