Heart Happy (cathy_edgett) wrote,
Heart Happy

Evening -

The painting class was lovely, soft music and direction, and a chance to feel just where my arm and hand want to go. I am happy with my paintings, and yet, it is not about that. It is about the joy and relaxation in the process. Again, I find myself wondering why everyone in this society is not given the chance to feel they are an artist. In Bali, art is worship, and each person worships creatively. I think that attitude here could make a tremendous difference in the crime rate and road rage.

Cancer was the subject of discussion. I appreciated hearing of others' experiences. I struggle however, with the concept of myself as a "survivor," and the collective labeling. "We are cancer survivors."

I learned that everyone there had chemo every third week rather than every other as I did, and they found every third week tough, so I feel really good that I made it through with every other week. It means I finished in four months, rather than six, and I am incredibly grateful for that. I can't imagine still being in chemo. Also, several of the women today were in their early 40's, and cancer has meant an inability to have children. I feel grateful that it has not been that for me.

I also feel that in this experience I am better prepared for death when it does come. I don't fear it, though I don't welcome it. That is my perception of the moment. I am tired this evening. It has been another full day. It certainly whizzed by. May we all live aware that life balances on points of death, and we are held like shining stones.

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