At radiation today was a suggestion box. I realized there is nothing I can suggest. There is only thanks. They do all they can to make it a pleasant experience. Each morning, I look out at the Wellness Garden and drink a mocha I make from the coffee and hot chocolate mix. Kirk feeds the fish. Steve passes through with warm robes. It is a peaceful way to begin the day. Then, we have fun with the machine.
I go to the post office in Larkspur, then, the Marin Art and Garden Center in Ross. I sit under the trees. I sit near a rock that looks like a gorilla. We survey.
Jeff and I meet for lunch at Bubba’s in San Anselmo. It is always a delight to see Jeff, and Bubba's is a special treat.
As I drive, I hear the discussion on gas prices. I am amazed at people who have innocently been driving giant cars now saying they will have to trade them in. It is like they have never heard there is not unlimited gas. This country has insulated people, and rewarded the purchase of huge cars. I am amazed. I thought they just didn’t care, but I see they are unaware. One interviewed guy said he was going to trade in his truck and buy a Toy-o-ta. I think back to the gas lines of 1974, the year Jeff was born. How do people forget?
It is warm in San Anselmo and Fairfax. I need my new sunproof, lightweight jacket to protect myself. I feel the sun beating through and affecting my breast. I am grateful for the protection, though surprised to return home to gray and fog. It seems we have moved into the foggy days of summer with only a few days of spring.
I am tired today by the time I get to the horses. Gisela suggests I dip myself in white light in the morning by visualizing myself diving into and swimming in a pool of milk. She wants to know if it helps. I’ll see. She has been through many medical procedures, and had three operations in one year, so she says she knows some tricks.
We work today with the horses without a rope, just using our body, gestures, and energy.
We work with the three steps, Ask, Suggest, Promise. (I thought the third one was Inspire, but it seems to be promise. We promise we mean what we ask.)
At the end, Jim compliments us and says we do better than people who go out and spend half a million dollars on horses and equipment without understanding the basic way to work with a horse.
He asks us to consider two questions. What surprised us? What did we find out we didn’t know before?
What surprises me is how well the horse obeys when I know what I want.
Also, I am learning to use my energy, to raise and lower it slowly like a dimmer switch, to communicate with the horse, to make sure I am where the horse can see me and respond. I am learning to respect what the horse needs while also staying aware of what is mine to convey. I didn’t know how to do this before. I didn’t even have any awareness around it, since I had no horse experience but I see how important it is in everything we do. This isn't about horses. This is about how we use our energy, how we convey, and ask, suggest, and promise and inspire.
When we want the horse to come toward us, we not only step back but we exhale. The horse wants to fill that space where our energy was. Our exhalation pulls the horse toward us. I find that fascinating.
Cindy says the horse program began in Montana. There are no males in Montana that don’t have horse experience. She is trying to get more funding, so we will be part of a survey to say what we learned and how we were affected by this experience. We will be interviewed for 90 minutes privately to document what we have gained, or not. There are places with money. Is this a worthwhile experience for people with cancer, or who have survived it? I think it is a marvelous experience for everyone and should be in every school.
When I got there today, a young woman of 33 was working her horse in the arena. She made it look beautiful but she said it is work. Perhaps, that is what is also interesting in this. My experience of horses is mainly watching them glide in movies. It is not quite like that. There is a lot to the world of horses, and it is rewarding, and it is important, I think and feel, to learn the ropes, so to speak.
I thought, at first, it sounded strange to say this experience would be empowering, but, I am finding that first it is fun, and second that I can do it, and it doesn’t matter if I don’t. There are no mistakes. It is empowering to know that. The system is foolproof if you pay attention, which is what you need to do. You pay attention to the horse, and often, the horse pays attention to you. It is really fascinating to feel the response, to feel my energy, and to feel the horse respond to my energy. It is also fascinating to feel and see how different each horse is. You don’t go in with a timed plan.
Jim talks about being on horse time, slow to medium time. Most people today are on fast time, he says, and when nature is on fast time, it is a disaster. Listening to the news today, it would seem we humans continue on fast time. Take some time this weekend and settle into horse time. Simmer slow, and roll on your back in the dust.