Heart Happy (cathy_edgett) wrote,
Heart Happy

Ritual -

I dress carefully for today, as though I were a priest or priestess.  I comb my hair.  The ritual is important.  Grooming ourselves means we are well, and I am well.  I am well!!

Jane asks today what this means, that this treatment is done.  My understanding is that since my tumor was estrogen positive, and I am now on Arimedex which cuts off all estrogen production at the source, that I am just fine.  I am as I was, though hopefully, a wee bit wiser, kinder, and more patient.  We shall see.  : )

I feel I am going to a holy rite, this last treatment, and I bought beautiful votive candles holders and candles to take with me today, to honor this holy rite.  This has been my church, my place for sustenance and healing.  The candle holders are the lovely colors of today - pale yellow, blue, green, and red.   The candles are white.  I got a stuffed bee, that is all sparkly and when you squeeze it, it giggles.  I picture him/her floating over the lily pond.  I got decks of cards, 52 Things to Try Once in Your Life, and 52 Ways to Celebrate Friendship.  Hasn't that been what this journey has been?   Each day has been something new I've tried, and this is a true celebration of friendship at the deepest levels.  Lyla's has Thank you's  in chocolate and chocolate hearts, wrapped in red and gold.  I have some of those.

I am glad I have this time to prepare for today, my last treatment, my stepping out of one, lovely world, and into another.  I remember now a dream I had years ago, where I lifted up a man-hole cover, and peered out on a wide, flat plain.  Perhaps that is what this is for me now.

Steve says in 1999, there were a few buildings in Dubai.  It was desert and flat.  Now, it is something else.  He is amazed!   Seven years.  Perhaps, my plain will be as transformed as that of Dubai.  Certainly wealth has flooded my way, true wealth.  I am a wealthy, grateful woman indeed, and, with intention,  in deed!

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