Heart Happy (cathy_edgett) wrote,
Heart Happy

Good Morning!!

This morning I am with the work with the horses.  Jim always says there is no competition between us, and, of course, I understand that.  Perhaps, the lesson is also not to compete with ourselves, not to compare.  It is to stay fluid.  I realize today that for me just being able to open out that left arm to direct the horse is a big deal.  That I am beginning to again trust that it is safe to have my sternum out is another huge step, and it goes back and forth, in and out, like the tides.  I think in the horse work I really feel how sensitive the steps, how precise and fluid they can be. 

I feel my feet on the floor today.  They still feel gritty, like I am walking on sand, and I am hoping that will begin to go away.  I am amazed how long the Taxol effects stay.

Today is the fourth day since radiation ended, so, I am told that tomorrow the effects will begin to go the other way.  Because radiation is culmulative, it keeps going, like a huge freighter.  It doesn't just stop, but, from now on, there will be more ease.  I am sleeping more and deeply, and feeling the increasing light of these late May days fertilize my bones.

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