Heart Happy (cathy_edgett) wrote,
Heart Happy

stable -

I feel like a stable this morning, a stable of people, horses, and feelings, and then, I remember that Jesus was born in a stable, and placed in a manger among the animals.   It feels symbolic of this experience with the horses. 

In the Rilke workshop, we speak of the history of Christianity and Judaism.  It is a background for what Rilke was working to understand,  and embody, so that he could create his own experience, his own creation and exchange with God, reciprocality.  I feel how ignorant I am of tradition.  I was not raised in it.  We were a family of the 50's, constantly moving, following my father's job.

I have lived in this house now almost 29 years.  I have roots.  I have old friends now, and new ones, new ones every day it seems.  Cancer opens up a whole new world.  A woman who helps run the MV Library contacted me yesterday about what the library could do to support women with breast cancer.  I realize there is wonderful support for those with cancer, but less for the families and friends.  I suggested she orient what she creates toward families and friends. 

We discussed the value of fiction in helping people with cancer.  A quick scan showed 150 fiction books dealing with breast cancer.  When I spoke with Diane, who heads the Circle Library for breast cancer she said she feels the real "story" is so incredible  that fiction cannot compare.  It is true that I have not been into fiction with all of this, but I see where it might support those who are in support.  

The day is lovely.  It is Memorial Day weekend.  We attend a wedding tomorrow at Silverado Country Club.  It is a weekend so full, and spacious that I sit, enthralled, listening to bird song and watching the shades of light.    I am with boundaries today, who I am, and where I end, and where  the rest of the world begins, and ends, and I see there is no beginning and ending, , just as there is no life and death.  All is.  In this moment, all is.  In this moment, I am a particle, and then, there is the wave.  

I return now to the stable.  All is stable for me.   I am the baby in the manger, the animals, the history, and all that surrounds.   I am content.  I feel whole today, circular, round.  

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